You’ve known “Howard” for over 1 year. You can’t help but think that you two will make a great couple. However, before you set your heart up for disappointment, is “Howard” really the best guy for you? Even if he’s an incredible guy, is he ready for a committed relationship with you?

Here are 5 signs that a man is not ready for a relationship with you:

1) He is still in love with his former girlfriend.

It doesn’t matter if he says that he likes you. We, humans, can be attracted to more than one person at the same time. It doesn’t matter if he makes you laugh ’til you want to “pee” your pants (or dress). It doesn’t matter if you feel like you can be yourself totally with him and there’s no other man who is a better fit for you.
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If he’s still in love with his former girlfriend, he cannot be emotionally available to you. You’re not being fair or loving to yourself in hoping that he’ll love you one day. It would be wiser for you to move on and not think that you can change his mind or turn his heart toward you. Trapping him with sex or even a baby is a very bad idea, not to mention manipulative. You’re too special to go to those lengths for any guy!

2) He is separated from his wife.

I know single women who have fallen for the trap of being with a married man who has been separated from his wife. As Christian women, we are called to honour marriages, whether those marriage are active or inactive. If he’s separated, but he is still legally married to his wife, he’s not available for you. He’s simply not ready and capable of being in a relationship with you.

3) He says that he’s interested in men (or in both men and women).

As the world becomes more like the biblical cities “Sodom” and “Gomorrah” (located in the valley of modern day Jordan), it has become quite common for more men and women to embrace same-sex romantic relationships. When you read the Bible, it is clear that homosexual relationships were commonly practiced in other nations. However, God warned His people, the nation of Israel, to not practice that lifestyle. Even in the New Testament, many of the Christian converts led a homosexual lifestyle before coming to Christ.

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11​
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If you’re with a guy who is still open to being with other men, then this is a red flag for you. If it was a practice of the past, please ensure that it really is in his past. I have no doubt that God redeems. Before you get your heart entangled, please find out where he’s at right now. You definitely don’t want to experience your husband leaving you for a man in the future. Furthermore, you can get several infections (for example Shigellosis) when you have contact with poop during sexual contact.

4) He has no interest in getting married.

If a man is set in his views against marriage, try not to persuade him to marry you. He’s just not there! You might find that praying for him might be a better course of action to take.

Sometimes, Christian men might have a block against marriage because:

• It is not his family culture.
• It is not his “village” culture.
• His parents have had a bad marriage.
• He has never seen a good healthy marriage modelled before him.
• None of his closest friends are married.
• He believes that marriage is a trap and remaining single has more benefits than marriage.
• He doesn’t think he’ll make a good husband.

If he’s not interested in getting married and you are, he’s not ready for you. You need to seriously consider moving on to a man who wants to be married.

5) He says that he’s not ready.

Believe him when he says that he’s not ready for a committed relationship or for marriage. He has to come to terms with when he’s ready. Truth be told, I have personally known people who got ready in record time when they met someone they began to love and couldn’t risk losing them to someone else. Nevertheless, please respect his choice.

If a man says that he likes you, but he’s not ready for a relationship with you, please do not become sexually active with him. If he wants sexual involvement with you, he’ll just have to marry you. As the saying goes, “Why buy a cow, when you get the milk for free?” And you are infinitely more precious than a cow!

Summary

It is better to wait for a man who is truly ready for a relationship. Please don’t short-change yourself. You might think the not-ready guy is fantabulous, but there are also good men out there who are ready for a relationship when the “right” woman comes along. Besides that, I feel strongly that you have a major part to play in seeing more ready healthy Christian men and that part is praying for the single men who are around you. Our men need our prayers!

To recap,

Here are 5 situations that show that a man is not ready for a relationship with you:

1. He is still in love with his former girlfriend.
2. He is separated from his wife.
3. He says that he’s interested in men (or in both men and women).
4. He has no interest in getting married.
5. He says that he’s not ready.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

Top 5 Attractive Qualities Single Christian Men Want 

5 Guys to Consider as Future Husbands

7 Must-Have Discussions Before You Commit Your Heart

Recommended Books:

10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men: Understand His Mind And Capture His Heart by by Sabrina Alexis & Eric Charles 

Before You Say “I Do”: A Marriage Preparation Guide for Couples by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts

Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother” by Carolyn Mahaney

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):