7 Things to Know Before You Enter a Relationship

If you’ve ever wondered, “What are some things I should know before I get into a relationship?” you are in the right place.

I’ve shared some of these points before, but repetition is powerful! Whether you are totally single, currently talking to someone, or navigating a courtship, you need a solid foundation before you take that next step. As an older sister in Christ, my heart is to pass down the good advice that was given to me so you can honor God in your relationships.

Here are 7 Essential things every Single Woman should know before Dating.

1) Get a Sober View of Marriage.

Before you get into a relationship, spend time around married couples—other than your parents. Some of us didn’t grow up seeing a healthy marriage, and if you are wandering in a desert when it comes to relationship role models, you won’t know what to expect.

Pray that God will bring married couples into your life who will let you into their space. You need to see what a real marriage looks like. It isn’t picture-perfect, but observing a healthy, godly marriage gives you a sober view of what to trust God for and what to work toward yourself.

2) Relax in Your Singleness While Preparing.

If you aren’t ready for marriage, relax and enjoy being a single woman! When I talk about readiness, I don’t mean having a finished degree or hitting an arbitrary milestone. I mean being in a position where, if you met the right person this year, you would actually be available and capable of getting married.

If you have major roadblocks preventing you from marrying right now, don’t rush the process. Just relax, practically prepare yourself for the future, and enjoy building healthy friendships.

3) Remember: You Are Still Single.

Until you say “I do,” you are still a single woman. If you enter a relationship and realize it isn’t the best fit, you can end it. I know from my own past how easy it is to fall into bondage over a relationship. Out of pride, I wanted my very first boyfriend to be my husband, and I stayed in an unhealthy situation much longer than I should have. Don’t put restrictions on yourself that God didn’t put on you! It is much easier to get out of a dating relationship than it is to get out of a marriage. You do not have to stay just to “make it work.”

A Quick Note on Commitment: While you are technically single until marriage, character matters. If you are in a committed relationship or engaged, you must honor that commitment. Entertaining other men while committed is insincere and shows poor character. If you want to explore another connection, you need to end your current relationship first.

4) Look Beyond the Mask.

Don’t expect a man to be perfect, but do make sure you see him in a variety of situations. A man might wear a mask when it’s just the two of you because he’s trying to impress you. To know if he is truly the one, observe how he behaves around:

• Strangers and service workers
• Your relatives and his relatives
• His friends and colleagues
• Other attractive women
• People who are poorer or less educated than him
• His boss (Does he compromise his Christian values just to fit in?)

Seeing him in different environments gives you a true picture of the man he really is.

5) Don’t Date in Isolation.

From the very beginning—even when you just like each other—allow others to have input. Tap into the collective wisdom of spiritually mature people and married couples.

Bring him around your friends and family and ask for their honest opinions. When you are infatuated, you might be completely blind to the fact that he has a bad temper, lacks ambition, or simply isn’t a good fit for you. Do not adopt the mindset of “It’s my life and my business.” Involve wise counsel early on.

6) Seek Advice from the Right People.

It always surprises me when single women go to other single women for relationship advice! While your single friends can offer support, true wisdom comes from those who have successfully walked the path you want to take.

If you wanted to get healthy, you wouldn’t ask for advice from someone whose health is entirely out of control. The same goes for dating. Seek out married women whose marriages you admire. Pray about it, and God will lead you to people who can offer sound, tested counsel.

7) Establish Your Boundaries Early.

You must establish your boundaries before you enter a relationship. This is especially true regarding sexual purity and physical intimacy.

Decide right now what you will and will not do. Decide that you won’t share a bedroom or be alone in an apartment together. If you wait until you are in the heat of the moment to figure out your boundaries, it will be too late. The body takes over, and your convictions will be tested beyond your strength. Make your boundaries clear to yourself and to him from day one.

Summary

In the book of Titus, older women are called to teach the younger women to live reverent, self-controlled lives so that the word of God may not be reviled. As your “big sister,” I have a responsibility to share this wisdom with you.

The choices you make don’t just affect you; they determine how people view Christianity and they influence the younger generation watching you. Let’s grow together, set healthy standards, and honor God in our relationships!

To recap,

Here are 7 Essential things every Single Woman should know before Dating.

1. Get a Sober View of Marriage.
2. Relax in Your Singleness While Preparing.
3. Remember: You Are Still Single.
4. Look Beyond the Mask.
5. Don’t Date in Isolation.
6. Seek Advice from the Right People.
7. Establish Your Boundaries Early.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

5 Sure Tips to Prevent You From Falling for the Wrong Guy

7 Must-Have Discussions Before You Commit Your Heart

7 Practices to Stop Now Before Marriage

Recommended Books:

Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love” by Dannah Gresh

“Disciplines of a Beautiful Woman” by Anne Ortlund

“The Fascinating Girl”  by Helen Andelin

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):