Christian single women, does your clothing determine the type of man you attract? Do you dress tastefully but modestly? Or do you wear revealing clothes and end up attracting shallow “creeps”?

Firstly, let’s talk about what physical attributes that catches the eyes of most men. After all, men are visual creatures.

Based on my observation, here are the top 3 physical attributes that generally makes a man stop and take notice:

1) A woman’s breast.

2) A woman’s butt.

3) A woman’s legs.

Most women (99.9%) are totally aware of a man’s weakness for the physical attributes like breasts, a big butt and legs. Hence, whether we want to admit it or not, it is usually the driving force why women, INCLUDING Christian women, intentionally wear clothing to reveal and accentuate those 3 parts. We like the attention that we get and the power that we feel. The truth be told … women endowed with bigger butts and bigger breasts have a greater challenge. However, I have seen it done expertly and those women look incredibly covered AND gorgeous. As the saying goes, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

If you focus on showing off your breasts, butt and legs, you WILL GET lots of attention from men. No doubt about that! However, these may not be the types of men with whom you’ll have a happy marriage or even reach to the point of marriage! So, be very careful about wearing revealing clothes!

“Dress how you want to be addressed.” – Anonymous

Here are 4 men you attract when you wear revealing clothes:

1) The unbelieving man – single or married.

Most heterosexual men, single or married, have a ravenous sex drive. When he’s in the presence of a beautiful near-naked female body, sexual triggers are set off in his mind and then moves to the rest of his body for sexual fulfilment.

He’s not thinking about getting to know your personality. He’s not thinking if you’ll make a him a good wife. Sex is on his mind. For him, you don’t even have to have an attractive face or winsome attitude. He will see you as a sex object and he wants to get you into his bed as soon as possible.

2) The pretender Christian guy.

He says that he is a Christian and he knows what to say to make you think that he is a follower of Jesus, but he has no conviction about engaging in sexual foreplay and sleeping with you before marriage. He will try to seduce you in no time!

When you wear revealing clothes, you give him the impression, whether you realise or not, that you’re game.

3) The carnal Christian man.

He behaves like guy number 2 because he is still a babe in Christ (although he might have given his life to Jesus over more than a decade ago!). He might feel guilty about sexual foreplay and/or having sex before marriage but he will continue to do it because his fleshly desires reign supreme in this life. This guy might even have a prominent position in the church. Please don’t confuse spiritual gifts and Bible knowledge with spiritual maturity.

4) The proud and vain Christian guy.

Particularly, this guy is very concerned about the way he looks to the world. Hence, he wants to be with a sexy-looking woman who will make him look good and who will evoke the envy of others especially other men. In essence, he’s a show off and has not learnt the beauty of having a humble spirit.

He’s the type of guy who will find opportunities to show off his physique, his wealth, his popularity and his successes. He’s probably the better of all 4 men discussed, but if he doesn’t grow in humility like Jesus Christ, his arrogance and pride might lead to his demise. With him, you will be on very shaky ground if your external beauty is his main reason for being with you.

Here are a few considerations for you:-

• Suppose you get “bent out of shape” after having children, would he still have the “hots” for you?
• Will he have a faithful heart toward you when other sexier younger women flock around him?
• Will he want to divorce you if he realises that you no longer fit into his ideal life?

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10

“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:5-8

Here is a piece of sound advice from Mohammed Ali:

An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing.

Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

“When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”
He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

From the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes.

Likewise, be a mystery to a man! Cover up your “assets” and reveal them only to your husband.

Summary

Too often, I see Christian women attracting the wrong Christian men, get disappointed with the men’s lack of spiritual maturity or even worse, get their hearts broken. Then, they conclude that “there are no good Christian men left in the church” or “the men in the church are just like the men in the world.”

Alternatively, the type of man that you really want to attract is a godly man who will want to be with you because he values you as a person. You’re not his sex object and you’re not his barbie doll because he thinks he’s “Ken”. You are made in the image and likeness of God and after your beauty fades, you’ll be more beautiful to him than ever because he deeply loves, admires and respects your inner person. Of course, it is still important to take good care of yourself!

Hence, I would encourage you to choose modesty and reframe from wearing revealing clothes. Don’t place your focus on attracting a man mainly through your near-naked body. Focus on becoming like our humble Christ and let that influence how you dress.

Besides, I have come to realise that modesty is not simply about a list of DOs and DON’Ts. Modesty is a matter of the heart. It is about humility.

When I was single, I attended several discussions where single men and single women got a chance to openly share so that we could have gained a better understanding of our different struggles/temptations of the opposite sex. From those meetings and from reading books like “Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn”, God opened up my eyes and gave me a tender heart toward our Christian men and young men who are genuinely trying to walk in obedience to Christ. Let’s help them out by seeking to dress modestly (but attractively).

What is your true motivation for the way you dress? Is it to get as many stares from men (and women) or “likes” or compliments like “sexy”, “hot”, “on fire” ? What impression does a man get when he sees how you dress? Is to have power and control over a man? From where do you get your value? What type of men do you currently attract? What kind of man do you want to marry?

To recap,

Here are 4 types of men you attract when you wear revealing clothes:

1. The unbeliever – single or married.
2. The pretender Christian guy.
3. The carnal Christian man
4. The proud and vain Christian guy.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

​“Situationship” or Relationship … 5 Reasons It Should be Clear ​

​5 Rare Qualities Mature Christian Men Want

​7 Tips to Win at Sexual Purity 

Recommended Books:

Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty by Dannah Gresh

Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot 

Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn

Lies Young Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth & Dannah Gresh 

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):