In a time when over 50% of Christian marriages are failing, mature Christian men want better marriages. As such, they are looking for a different type of woman.

“Sammy” was captivated by the beauty and sexiness of “Leila”. It was amazing the way she held his attention. 

As a follower of Christ, he initially wanted to marry a woman who was all-sold out for Christ … a woman like his mother. But then he met “Leila”. Quickly, he knew she wasn’t exactly want he wanted. Although she was religious, she was not devoted to Christ. But as time progressed, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. To him, what was most important was that she respected his beliefs. 

Then they got married. “Sammy” realized that he needed more than physical attractiveness and religious tolerance. In fact, he needed someone who knew God and whose values were influenced by the Word of God. He had bounced his head. 

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 

Lesson from a mature elderly Christian man …

Several years ago, I had the pleasure of hearing an elderly man “Timothy” speak glowingly of his wife of 50 plus years. He said that she was more beautiful than when he married her. In his eyes, all her wrinkles, frail body, grey hair and sagging skin did not prevent him from seeing and treasuring the true beauty that came from a woman wholly devoted to Christ. 

Thankfully, there are still available single mature Christian men like “Timothy” who want a woman with unfading inner beauty. Undoubtedly, he will not fall for the “Delilah’s” of our time. These mature Christian men are on the lookout for women who intentionally nurture an inner beauty that only increases as they age.  Will you be that kind of woman?

Here are 5 qualities that mature Christian men want beside physical attractiveness:

1) A gentle woman. 

What does it mean to be gentle? It is power under subjection. In essence, gentleness is the ability to harness your strength for the good of others. Therefore, it is motivated by love. As a woman, you are a very powerful creature. With this power, you can submit it to God and use it for good. Or, you can use the power to destroy the men in your life. It’s your choice. 

There are two main ways in which your power can be shown:

A) Your lips. 

If a woman learns the art of speaking words that convey admiration and respect to the men in her life, she’ll have men wanting to be in her presence, whether it be her family or friends. A woman with no control of her tongue will have men running (including relatives). Believe me, I’m all too familiar (sad to say) with using my words as a weapon.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. Proverbs 14:1

B) Your body (see next point). 

What gentleness looks like – willingness to yield, kindness, sensitivity to the feelings of others, and tenderness. 

What gentleness does NOT look like – crudeness, wildness, harshness, aggressiveness, and violence. 

Our ultimate role model for gentleness is Jesus. Therefore, neither you nor I have an excuse. Having a strong character myself, gentleness was a trait that didn’t come easily for me.  But I have improved a little and I still have a long way to go.

A man can easily sense a woman’s gentleness or aggressiveness. Secure mature Christian men need strong, but gentle women. As such, a wise woman will seek to grow in gentleness, and not only focus on her physical attractiveness.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,… “ 1 Peter 3:3-5

2) A modestly-dressed woman.

Modesty is not equivalent to dressing in a sack. Without a doubt, you can dress modestly as well as attractively. Mature Christian men, who are looking for their complimentary fit, do not want the world to see their future wives’ sexiness exposed to all other men. I would like to think that a mature Christian wants to feel special.

Should “Tom, Dick and Harry” have an eye-full when you reveal every curve by your tight-fitting outfit or give them full glimpses of your boobs. Besides, dressing like a seductress will only attract unfaithful married men or men who only want to have sex with you. If you’re mainly attracting those types of men, it may have a lot to do with your clothing choice. Serious mature Christian men are not impressed. Be fashionable, but be modest.

“God’s intended purpose for you as a carefully crafted masterpiece is to ‘intoxicate’ one man with the fullest extent of your beauty. – Dannah Gresh in ‘Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty’

Questions to ask yourself:

• Do you dress like a seductress?
• Is it your desire to want men to see you only as a sex object?
• Is it your aim for men to desire your body more than your inner being?
• Does it make you feel special when men slur sexual lyrics at you?
• Are you drawing men to God or is the focus on yourself?

Your body should be a mystery to men. You should have him wondering, instead of leaving nothing or little to the imagination.

“Modesty is a delicate yet formidable power that God has given to you.” – Dannah Gresh in ‘Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty’

3) A prayer warrior.

Every mature Christian man NEEDS a wife who can pray for him. His relationship with God; the fulfilment of his purpose; and the success of every single area of his life depend on the fervent effectual prayer of a righteous woman (James 5:16). As Stormie O’Martian says in her book, “The Power of A Praying Wife”, “prayer is the ultimate love language.”

Men like “Sammy” who have ‘bounced their heads’ by compromising with “Leila” may never receive this benefit from their wives (unless the Lord changes her).  Of course, his parents can pray for him, but there’s something more powerful in the marital union.

Prayer does three miracles in a marriage:

A) It continually changes the wife’s heart. She becomes a better mate for her husband.

B) It also transforms the life of the husband so that he can be the man that God wants him to be.

C) It strengthens the marriage to reflect the parallel relationship between Christ and the Church.

Ladies, while you’re still single, learn to pray and make it a practice to pray the Word of God.

4) A woman rich in mind and spirit.

Your intelligence and academic pursuits will be as a blessing to a secure Christian man. Make it a plan to continue learning and growing in different areas of your life. If you’re always learning, you’ll never become a bore. Not only that, but you’ll be equipped to help fulfil your mission as a couple.

Even if you’ve been blessed with above-average beauty, it’ll still be worth both your time to constantly develop your mind.  Don’t only do what’s comfortable… stretch yourself and see who you can become. 

Furthermore, a mature Christian men want women who are intentionally growing in their relationships with God and others. Allow Jesus to make you more beautiful inside which will naturally radiate externally…even as the grey hairs and wrinkles increase in number.

Related articles:

Top 5 Attractive Qualities Single Men Want

Top 5 Turn-offs for Single Men

5) A champion and supporter. 

Can a man trust you with his heart? It’s in poor taste for a woman to scorn and ridicule a man, especially when his weaknesses are revealed. Instead, let your words be like a soothing balm. When disaster and disappointments strike, you should be the first one that he would like to tell because he knows that you’re his number one cheerleader. With your support, he should feel empowered to take on the world. 

Marriage is a fusion between two different persons for a common purpose. Hence, it is not the forum for destructive competition. Both husband and wife should be each other’s greatest champions.

Summary

You may not be in a relationship with a guy right now, but there are several men in your life whose lives would be enhanced by your gentleness; modesty; prayer; richness in mind and spirit; and being a champion and support. During your single years, your current relationships with your father, brothers, male friends and co-workers provide the best grounds for preparation for marriage. Be the Jesus that they can see.

A challenge for you …

How would you know at which qualities you’re excelling and in which areas you’re failing? That’s a good question! We all have blind spots (areas in our lives to which we are totally clueless). Therefore, I would suggest that you ask relatives or friends to give you an honest feedback on the above qualities. Seek out the feedback from only those persons who will be brutally honest with you. When you know your blind spots, you can begin to work on them. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to growth.

Are you going to join this challenge? Comment below. You can also let me know your thoughts on the article. Are these qualities really rare? Would you like to add some others to the list?

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With love,

Kimberly

Recommended Books:

“The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie O’Martian

“Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty” by Dannah Gresh

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