You like him and you think the feeling is mutual, but you’re not one hundred percent certain. To you, he’s just the kind of man you can see as your husband. Should you share your feelings with him? Should you initiate a relationship with him? Before you go a step further, please check out my article, “Should You Pursue A Man? 6 Points to Consider”.
There is an even better alternative!
Here are 4 steps to take when you like a guy:
1) Befriend him.
Let’s say that you attend a conference and you meet “Tom” and he peaks your interest. Should you pass up the opportunity to meet him? Let’s be honest. You actually need to have more single men in your life. What should you do without appearing desperate or needy?
BE THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR THE RIGHT MAN!
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First of all, do not consider him as a potential husband because you don’t know him as yet. If you think like that, you’ll behave awkwardly toward him. Instead, be friendly; introduce yourself; be yourself; smile; be warm; and seek to be interested in him as a person. Be focused on being his friend and nothing else. Try to calm your excitement; control your emotions; and behave wisely.
You can get your free “7 Tips to Get to Know a Guy Better” in my resource library.
How does pursuing defer from befriending?
Pursuing involves:
- Telling him that you are romantically interested in him before he declares his interest in you.
- Asking him to be in a relationship with you.
- Asking him to marry you.
- Chasing after him by persistent calling and messaging and it’s not being reciprocated.
Befriending involves:
- Introducing yourself.
- Initiating a conversation.
- Showing sincere interest in him as a fellow human being.
We should view single christian men as brothers and friends. Our aim is to gain a friend and not view a single man only as a potential mate. A mindset like that would thwart any healthy relationship from developing. By befriending him (or allowing him to befriend you), it will open up the door so that you can get to know each other without pressure.
2) Pray and trust God.
If you sincerely believe that he’s the one for you, instead of taking matters into your own hands, why not pray about it? Place the matter before God and wait on Him. I’ve come to realize that it’s important to trust in God’s wisdom and sovereignty. In hindsight, I’m very grateful that God didn’t answer some of my fervent requests regarding men.
3) Observe him.
When you like someone a lot, it will take great effort to see a man as he truly is. You will probably (unintentionally) overlook some keys aspects of his character. But you must try hard to be objective. It is important to look deeper than his looks, charm, his talents and even his ministry success.
Some observations about him:
- How does he handle problems?
- How does he treat other women?
- Does he possess qualities that you can respect?
- How many past relationships has he had after coming to Christ? Why did the relationships fail?
- Do you have similar beliefs and values about God and other areas that are important to you?
- Is he a player?
- Would you two get along well together?
Don’t forget to access your freebie “7 Tips to Get to Know a Guy Better”!
4) Investigate him.
This may sound too radical, but marriage is serious business. The more you know about his character, your decision about him will be more informed … should he begin to pursue him. Ask about him. Listen to what others say about his character, his values, and his beliefs. In particular, what do your mutual friends have to say about him?
When my husband was beginning to like me, he asked at least two of our mutual friends about me. That was smart of him!
Related Articles:
So God Said That I’ll Be Your Wife? Oh really?…5 Tests to Know If He’s the One
Should You Pursue A Man? 6 Points to Consider
8 Tips to Overcome Your Shyness with an Attractive Guy
Summary
There is no need to deny that you like a guy. Instead of pursuing him, you can decide to pursue a friendship. In that way, you gain a brother and will have better insights to determine if he is your complimentary fit. Leave the pursuing up to him.
What do you do when you like a guy? How do you deal with those feelings? Please comment below and let me know! Thanks for stopping by!
#madeforlove
With love & laughter,
Kimberly Garth
Get on your knees and pray ladies! lol As Kimberly rightly said, marriage is serious business. Yes,investigate him. Yes,present him to God and ask “What you think?” Aint nobody want to waste time and have regrets because feelings were in the driver’s seat. Kick ‘em in the back seat! Let good sense prevail and be realistic. Most of all, let the Holy Spirit rule 🙂
Good advice, Jem! Thanks for sharing!