Elizabeth, a talented architect in her forties, was finding her faith affected by a lifetime of waiting. She had meticulously followed the dating advice, even paying for dating apps. Yet another birthday passed without the promise of marriage. Sitting alone in her squeaky-clean apartment, she sighed, “I can’t do this anymore”. Are you like Elizabeth? Have you given up hope of finding love when you’re older?
if you’re like me a few years ago, you might be looking at the dating landscape after your 30th birthday and thinking, “Is this ever going to happen?” “Am I going to find love now that I’m older?”
I got married later in life, and I know the thoughts that swirl around: “The good ones are taken.” or “My time is running out”. I get it. But here’s the truth I want to anchor you in today: God is not limited by your age. People get married in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond. You can find love when you are older.
BE THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR THE RIGHT MAN!
Ever feel like you don’t know what a godly man is looking for in a wife? Our Irresistible Godly Woman Checklist will give you clear insights so you can stop guessing and start preparing … while reaching your full potential as a single Christian woman.
It’s a fact that the longer you wait, the fewer available single men there are. But with eight billion people in the world, it is absolutely not impossible for God to bring your guy to you. Someone else’s reality does not have to be your reality as well.
- Here are 9 essential shifts to prepare yourself for a Christ-centered, God-honoring marriage:
- 1) Cultivate Humility and Resist Superiority.
- 2) Be Positive and Joyful.
- 3) Be a Good Steward of Your Body.
- 4) Grow Your Character Continuously.
- 5) Deal with Blind Spots and Trauma Issues.
- 6) Consider Men Who Are Younger or Single Again.
- 7) Explore Dating Apps Strategically.
- 8) Prioritize Family and the Home.
- 9) Keep Hope Alive.
Here are 9 essential shifts to prepare yourself for a Christ-centered, God-honoring marriage:
1) Cultivate Humility and Resist Superiority.
As you become successful in your career and grow in spiritual maturity, it’s easy to unintentionally project an air of superiority, especially towards men. A healthy, respectable man does not want to be with a woman who constantly reminds him he is her inferior. He wants to know his leadership is valued and that he brings worth to the relationship.
Tip: Don’t boast about your salary, education, status or your vast biblical knowledge. Be intentional about practicing humility by happily serving others, even in tasks you might consider “beneath” your professional status. Open your eyes to see the value in the men around you and be their number one encourager. Slowly but surely, he will learn a lot about you without you having to boast.
2) Be Positive and Joyful.
At the end of the day, a man is asking himself, “Can I live with her?” As men get older, they generally seek peace, joy, and emotional stability, not stress. If a man feels good about being around you, he’ll be more inclined to want you to play a greater role in his life.
3) Be a Good Steward of Your Body.
Take care of the body God has given you. Exercise regularly and, just as importantly, eat healthily. Reduce your consumption of refined sugars and cut down on white flour. Taking care of your body is a way to honor God and make yourself a desirable and set-apart woman of God.
4) Grow Your Character Continuously.
Your reputation paves the way for you. A godly, gracious, merciful, and forgiving character is attractive. If a good man—perhaps a widower—is looking for a quality woman, would you enter his mind? You don’t need to attract ten men; you just need one good one.
Tip: Reflect on how you interact with people. Do you always have to win an argument or have the last word? Learn when to simply “zip your mouth” and listen to others, using your words for encouragement when you do speak. There’s a time to speak and a time to listen.
5) Deal with Blind Spots and Trauma Issues.
We all have blind spots, and we all carry trauma. If a trusted friend or family member points out an issue to you, don’t deny it. Deal with it. If you’ve had a bad history of relationships or a poor example of marriage from your parents, consider humbly seeking counseling or coaching. You need to give a good man a fair chance of having a healthy relationship with you.
6) Consider Men Who Are Younger or Single Again.
Be open-minded about the man God might bring into your life. You may need to consider men who are a little younger or men who are single again (widowers). Many good men in their 40s and older have never been married, or they’ve lost a loving wife and are now looking for companionship with a mature, spiritually-stable woman to compliment them for the next season of life. Yes, you can find love when you’re older!
7) Explore Dating Apps Strategically.
While meeting someone in person should always be your default, there’s nothing wrong with exploring dating apps to find love online. If you are serious, consider paying for the service. You’ll get better features and visibility, and it often signals a higher level of seriousness from the other users you encounter.
8) Prioritize Family and the Home.
If you have been hyper-focused on your career, it’s time to gain some skills useful for marriage. A man wants to know you can fit in with a family; that you are nurturing; and that you can care for others—whether they are his parents, children, or future grandchildren. You can be a career woman, but you must also learn to manage your home and not think housework is beneath you.
9) Keep Hope Alive.
Do not believe the lie that you are too old to get married. Keep hope alive that you can find love and continue to pray until the Lord takes you home or He returns. The preparation you need for marriage—growing your character, cultivating joy, and being a good steward of your body (to name a few)—is the same preparation you need for Christ’s return. Your efforts will not be wasted.
Summary
I know this journey can feel lonely, but you are not alone. The shifts we discussed are less about finding a man and more about becoming the woman of character who is prepared for him. Your mindset greatly affects how successful you are in the various aspects of your life. Undoubtedly, you can find love when you are older. Invest and adequately prepare for your future marriage, either on earth or to meet our ultimate Bridegroom, Jesus Christ.
To recap,
Here are 9 essential shifts to prepare yourself for a Christ-centered, God-honoring marriage:
- Cultivate Humility and Resist Superiority.
- Be Positive and Joyful.
- Be a Good Steward of Your Body.
- Grow Your Character Continuously.
- Deal with Blind Spots and Trauma Issues.
- Consider Men Who Are Younger or Single Again.
- Explore Dating Apps Strategically.
- Prioritize Family and the Home.
- Keep Hope Alive.
Thanks for stopping by!
#madeforlove
With love & laughter,
Kimberly Garth
Other Helpful Resources:
8 Essential Measures to Safeguard Yourself With Online Dating
5 Tips To Make Yourself Look Great Online
5 Poor Mindsets to Keep You Single for Long
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