From age eleven to twenty, I was a Christian but there was no consistent growth. As a matter of fact, I had the opinion that serious Christians were too boring and prone to over-spiritualize everything.  As such, I committed myself to attending only ONE church event on Sundays.  I had a desire to desire in my relationship with God, but it was not my priority.

When I began university, I had no desire, whatsoever, to participate in a Christian group especially a group where the meetings resembled a church service.  Then, I  was approached by a Christian group that offered me the opportunity to discuss the claims of Christ and to participate in a Bible Study.  Truthfully, I signed up out of duty and not out of zeal.  

I faithfully attended the weekly Bible Study and I was learning, but still I wasn’t growing much.  I avoided any further involvement.  

Then, a great change occurred.  You would never guess what God used!  A hike!  The club had a hike and I enthusiastically agreed to go.  For the first time in my life, I enjoyed being around other Christians.  They were down-to-earth, fun, witty and I had the time of my life.  After that hike, I willingly participated in nearly everything the club was having.  I went from being on the “borders” to a leader in the twinkling of an eye.

My transformation did not come only from mere attendance at club meetings (although enjoying their company was important for me to actually attend other meetings!), but I was exposed to teachings, experiences and relationships that changed my paradigm.  

[Btw, if you want ideas to spice up with your time with God, get my FREE 25 Awesome Ideas in my resource library].

Here are 8 proven steps to steadily grow in your relationship with God:

1) Belong to a healthy Christian Community.

Every growing Christian woman needs to belong to a Christian community where she is known, loved and valued.  If your church is large and you are more or less invisible, then you need to also intentionally seek out a smaller community (like a small home group or care group or discipleship group or prayer group).  You need people around you who know what is happening in your life so that they can help you. An alone Christian is a weak vulnerable Christian, where the enemy will be sure to attack.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24-25

Evidences of a healthy Christian community:

• Accepts and loves you as you are;
• Challenges you to grow and follow Jesus wholeheartedly;
• Encourages righteous living and does not celebrate or ignore sinful behavior or attitudes;
• Advises you based on the Word of God;
• Values repentance and forgiveness;
• Encourages freedom to disagree and offers constructive criticism;
• Values vulnerability and transparency;
• Focuses on helping and serving others;
• Shows the importance of depending on the Holy Spirit;
• Facilitates the development of leaders;
• Offers opportunities for serving others using your gifts and talents;
• Teaches the Word of God unapologetically.

There is no perfect Christian community, but a healthy community can produce mature Christians.

2) Choose to have close Christian friends.

“Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.”

The people with whom you spend time influence you slowly but surely.  The reverse is also true.  If you want to steadily grow in your relationship with God, trust God for close Christian friends whose primary focus is loving and living for Jesus.  

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

Some benefits of close Christian friends:

• You will be surrounded by people who will lift you up in prayer (you most definitely need this!).
• Friends who are committed to telling you the truth when you don’t want to hear it;
• Friends who have the Holy Spirit within them so God can give them special insights into your circumstances;
• People who will give you solid biblical advice when you need it;
• People who will challenge you to live courageously for Christ.
• Friends who will stick with you even when others give up on you.

3) Get a discipler/mentor.

Being discipled has changed my life!  As you read at the beginning, I went to church regularly, but my life didn’t change much.  However, I saw a steady growth when I began being discipled by three young women during my university years.  

True biblical discipleship is not a Bible study, but it goes beyond that. It is simply another Christian woman coming alongside you; sharing her life with you (her ups, downs and mundane times); teaching you Biblical principles as she lives it; showing you the “ropes” and challenging you to live for Christ.  You will learn a lot more if you practically see another Christian demonstrating following Christ before your very eyes.  

“More is caught than taught.”

Qualities you need in a discipler/mentor:

• A woman who is willing to be vulnerable and transparent with you;
• She must love the Lord and be committed to following Him;
• She should be seeking to be obedient to God;
• A woman who is willing to spend time with you and share her life with you.
• She must be confidential.
• Although she’s not perfect, she is willing to pass unto to you what she has been/is learning from the Lord.
• She will pray for you.

4) Guard Your Heart.

A lot of Christians believe that they can take in anything and it will not affect them.  Your entire body is interconnected and what you read, listen to or think about will subtlety influence your mindset and therefore, your entire life.   They will affect your views, your mood, your sleep, your joy, your peace, your relationships and the like. 

Take some time to evaluate everything that you allow to enter into your mind.  Ask the Holy Spirit to give you insight as to their impact and to help you to give up what you need to. 

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

5) Discipling others.

I’ve been involved in Christian ministry for over twenty years and I’ve observed a sad reality.  Most people want someone to help them to grow.  However, very few people want to help others grow.  Interestingly, the people who decide to help others to grow usually are the ones who grow more.

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” Matthew 28:19-20 

True discipleship takes time, effort, commitment and love to nurture another Christian to the path of maturity for a period of time. 

“If you keep on taking in and not giving out, you will suffer from spiritual constipation.” One of my former disciplers

If you want to grow in your relationship with God, pass on what you learn to other people.  As such, my challenge to you is to disciple other young women.

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

6) Developing an active prayer life.

Simply put, prayer is talking with God.  Make a habit of talking with God throughout your day.  Additionally, reserve some undistracted time to sing praises to Him, pray and listen to what He might be saying to you.  God talks and directs in many ways, but most importantly, if it is from God, it will line up with the Word of God. Furthermore, I would suggest that you form or join a prayer group.  

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6

For your free 25 Awesome Ideas to Spend Time with God, click here to get access.

7) Knowing and living the Word.

Reading, studying, memorizing and meditating on the Word will transform your life from inside to outside and grow your relationship with God.  A survey was conducted by the Center for Bible Study Engagement among 40,000 people (ages 8 to 80) about the effect of engaging with Scripture on the respondents’ lives based on the number of times a respondent spent time in the Word of God.

The following insights were revealed:

• 1 time per week = negligible effect on some key areas in life (read key areas below)
• 2 times per week = negligible effect on some key areas in life
• 3 times per week = blip on the map
• 4 times per week = spike off the charts (radical change begins to take place)

This is what happens when a person engages with the Bible four times or more per week:

• Feeling lonely drops 30%.
• Anger issues drop 32%.
• Bitterness in relationships (marriage, relationship with children, etc.) drops 40%.
• Alcoholism drops 57%.
• Feeling spiritually stagnant drops 60%
• Viewing pornography drops 61%.
• Sharing your faith jumps up to 200%.
• Discipling others jumps to 230%

It was noted that there was no gradual effect from 1 time to 4 times, but a big change came after people spent time in the Word 4 times or more per week! 

Here are some suggestions to make this a reality in your life:

1. Following a Bible reading plan. There are tons of plans on the Internet.
2. Memorizing Scripture by yourself or with a friend.
3. Listening to an audio version of the Bible when you’re doing chores or commuting.
4. Regularly attending church (even if it’s virtually).
5. Participating in a cell group or small group (or similar community).
6. Singing the Word.
7. Dramatizing the Word.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

Of course, this will have little or no effect if knowledge is not accompanied by obedience. Obedience is key to growing in your relationship with God.

“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.” Song lyrics by Don Moen

8) Depending on the Holy Spirit.

The sooner you learn to be dependent on the Holy Spirit to live the Christian life, the more successful you will be in your desire to grow in your relationship with God. No amount of will power will be sufficient to overcome the flesh.  I wish I had known this truth sooner!  With true biblical Christianity, God is not merely concerned about your external religious practices, but He wants to change you deep within.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16

Related articles:

9 Powerful Prayers Every Single Woman Should Pray

How to Spend Time with God Every Day AND Enjoy It!

Summary

As you surrender to Christ daily and learn to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to live the Christian life, the impossible becomes possible as your heart changes, your faith grows and Jesus becomes the center of your being.  

In what ways has your life changed since becoming a Christian?  What steps have you taken to grow in your relationship with God?  Comment below so that our younger sisters in Christ can be encouraged to grow.  Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Get your FREE 25 Awesome Ideas to Spend Time with God!

Complete the form below to access this freebie, along with other amazing useful tools to help you as a single Christian woman. These are all found in my resource library which is free at the moment!

The post How to Steadily Grow in Your Relationship With God appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Have you ever heard the quote, “A verse a day keeps the devil away?”  I’m certain that was my mantra many years ago.  To ensure that he was kept away, I added two more verses!

For me, spending time with God seemed more like a duty than a delight for years!  Guilt would often plague me, but it did nothing to help me to spend time with God every day.  Then, one summer, I attended a training and I heard three powerful words that would forever change my time with God – “JUST SHOW UP!”  It’s simplisticity took all the emotional drama out of it.  

Related Article:

10 Easy Tips to Start Journaling today 

From that time onwards, I began to spend time with God every day and also learnt to enjoy it.  Talking about enjoying it?  You just might be interested in getting 25 Awesome Ideas to Spend Time with God. Some of them might just surprise you!

Here are 6 tips to spend time with God every day and enjoy it:

1) Ask God to give you the desire.

God loves you and He wants an intimate relationship with You.  Also, He knows that it’s in your best interest to spend time with Him, so ask for His help.  Undoubtedly, you want to spend time with God because you want to and not only because you have to.  In essence, love is a much better motivation than guilt in helping you to spend time with God every day.

“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

2) Make a date with God and show up.

You cannot allow your emotions to run your life.  Instead of not spending time with God, decide that you will do it and when you will do it, whether you feel like it or not.  

Sometimes, I am not in the mood to exercise (raise your hand if you can identify ), but I have made a commitment to myself to exercise on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  What do I do?  I simply start my YouTube exercise video; change into my exercise clothes; collect my hand weights; and begin exercising.  I don’t spend time deliberating if I’m in the mood or not.  I just do it.  

Similarly, make a daily date with God.  Set a time and a place and just show up!  When that time comes, go to your place of meeting with God (even if it’s kneeling by your bedside) and spend time with Him.  (I would not recommend lying horizontally on your bed because you’ll end up in a deep sleep instead).

NOTE:  I’m aware that you can talk with God all the time throughout the day which is wonderful.  However, it is equally important to set aside time with God in the same way that you crave quality time with your loved ones.  

3) Form a habit of spending time with God.

You are a creature of habit.  If you were to observe your morning routine (comprising habits), it might look similar to this: wake up; reach for your phone; look at messages; whisper a prayer to God; go to the bathroom; make tea/coffee; etc.  

When you add spending time with God to your morning, day or night routines, the habit will become second nature to you.  Feelings will no longer be a determining factor if it happens or not.  Of course, there might be times that you may miss it for various reasons and in those times, be gracious to yourself.  

In essence, carve out a specific time to spend time with God for the next 21 days.  Then repeat for 2 more cycles.  After that, it will certainly become a no-brainer!  In time, you will see that your spirit and soul is being refreshed daily and you’ll begin to look forward to it!

4) Choose the best time for you.

Your body has developed a rhythm that works best for you.  I prefer to get up early and go to bed by 10pm.  My husband is the opposite.  As a result, I spend time with God in the morning and write in my journal before I sleep.  

It’s more important that you spend time with God than no time at all. Therefore, select the time where you can give God your best.

WHAT YOU NEED:

5) Have a plan when you spend time with God.

What will you do during this time?  Will you pray?  Which book of the Bible will you read?  Are you going to study a passage?  As the saying goes, “If you fail to plan, plan to fail.”  If you have no plan, your chances of going back to sleep is very high!  

Also, you might be stuck in a rot because your routine is too boring for you.  Even your time with God should reflect how God has uniquely made you.  For ideas, get your 25 Awesome Ideas to Spend Time with God in my free resource library.  At the bottom, I’ll direct you to the password.

6) Understand and embrace your uniqueness.

I once heard about a guy who eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for breakfast every single day.  That will never work for me.  I’ll be totally bored with eating breakfast after a few weeks!  

In the same way, you need to know yourself and what will help you to enjoy your time with God.  You don’t need to compare yourself with others and what they do.  Since you are unique, what will help you to connect with God (and enjoy it) may look differently to someone else.  Hence, I’ve created a list of 25 Awesome Ideas to Spend Time with God to give you other options.  This can be found in my free resource library and you can get the password at the bottom. Remember that God is the Creator and we need not box Him in.

“Variety is the very spice of life, That gives it all its flavor” – William Cowper (The Task, 1975)

Related article:

Doing This Changed My Life (How to Memorise An Entire Book of the Bible)

It is totally common to skip spending time with God.  However, as a growing Christian woman, your desire is to spend quality time with God every day.  Just feeling guilty about it is not helpful at all.  Guilt just weighs us down and nothing fruitful is borne.

What has helped you to spend time with God every day?  Comment below and share with the entire Petals Bloom Community.  

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth 

Get my list of 25 Awesome Ideas to Spend Time with God.

Get the password for my library HERE along with the free list by filling out this form.

The post How to Spend Time With God Every Day AND Enjoy It! appeared first on Petals Bloom.

“Janice” has recently given her life to Jesus Christ.  Slowly, her life is beginning to change.  She’s so excited about this new relationship!  However, her cousin “Peter”, who was very passionate about Jesus, seems to have lost his desire for Him.  Now, “Peter” lives contrary to the biblical values he once embraced.  

In addition to this, she has heard from other believers that the Christian life can be rough and tough at times.  This has made her a bit fearful, but she’s determined to enjoy this new found relationship as much as possible.  

So she’s wondering what exactly she needs to be aware of concerning the strategies of the enemy?  In what ways can the enemy try to make her fall? Furthermore, how can she overcome so that she wouldn’t lose her passion for Christ like “Peter”.

“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.  Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” 1 Peter 5:8-9 ESV

Lessons from my deceased pastor

With his low baritone voice, my deceased and beloved pastor repeatedly taught the congregation about three common strategies used by our enemy to hamper an intimate and growing relationship with Jesus.  Therefore, it is crucial that you also understand them so that you can resist his plan for your demise. 

Here are three crafty strategies the enemy will use against you and how to overcome:

1) He will try to get you to backslide.

Our enemy, Satan, is not happy about your relationship with Jesus, so he will try his utmost best to cause you to revert into your former state of rebellion against God.  In his crafty ways, he will try to attack you exactly at your weakest points.

“For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life-is not from the Father but is from the world.  And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” 1 John 2:16-17 ESV

Seven common tactics to get you to backslide:

Backslide Tactic 1

Weak point: Inability to accept God’s forgiveness and to forgive yourself.

Tactic: He wages accusations about your past.  

Result: You become so burdened with guilt about your past that you erroneously believe God will never accept and love you as you are.  Then, you throw in the towel and revert to your former way of living.

Backslide Tactic 2

Weak point: Desire for a man’s love and adoration.

Tactic: He connects you with an unbelieving guy with qualities that you admire or a Christian guy who prefers to remain a babe in Christ.

Result: You fall in love with him and begin to compromise in ways that you never thought possible.

Backslide Tactic 3

Weak point: Desire for wealth and prosperity.

Tactic: He opens doors for you with prospects for great wealth which requires that you either compromise and/or become extremely busy.

Result: You have no time for God or serving Him.  

Backslide Tactic 4

Weak point: A stronghold of lust.

Tactic: He exposes you to pornorgraphy in whichever form suits you most.

Result: You become enslaved by its power that you begin to hide from God and live a lie.

Backslide Tactic 5

Weak point: You think very highly of yourself (due to intelligence, talents, beauty, special skills, money, etc.)

Tactic: He makes you believe all your accomplishments have been achieved by your own doing.  Your success was not because of God or anyone else’s help.

Result: You become puffed up and refuse to acknowledge God’s provision, enablement and blessings.  In essence, you become ungrateful to God and filled with pride.

Backslide Tactic 6

Weak point: Easily offended and unforgiving.

Tactic: A fellow Christian brother or sister hurts you.

Result: You decide that you can no longer fellowship with believers because they are all a bunch of hypocrites.

Backslide Tactic 7

Weak point: A strong need for approval.

Tactic: In order to gain greater popularity or acceptance, you begin to compromise your values or allow abuse from others.

Result: You lose your Christian “voice” and even who you are.

You don’t have to fall prey to any of the above ‘revert tactics’ (or any others) that the enemy would devise against you. Instead, you need to ask the Holy Spirit to constantly show you what is in your heart and allow Him to bring freedom and growth in the areas which are likely to be your stumbling blocks.  We all have them.  The main thing is to be willing to grow, regardless of how painful that process may be.

2) His plan is to make you become neutral.

If the enemy is unsuccessful in getting you to backslide, he will try to get you to become neutral.  A neutral Christian, or worldly Christian, is someone who has lost her passion for Christ.

Some evidences of neutrality in your life are:

• A lack of a desire to spend time with God.
• Little or no desire to be among Spirit-filled Christians.
• Your closest friends are at the same minimum spiritual level or not even believers in Christ.
• You justify any disobedience to God in your life.
• You will not even consider sharing the gospel with others.
• Your prayer life is practically non-existent.
• Your life is centered around you, and not Christ.
• Spending time in God’s Word is a chore to undertake.
• It is difficult for you to trust God with your life, especially relationships with men.
• Your love for God and others is waning.

“But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ.  I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?” 1 Corinthians 3:1-3 ESV

If you see that many of the above traits evident in your life, pray to God that he will restore you.  You need to be directed by God once again.  Check out “How you can be filled with the Holy Spirit.”  God can and is willing to refresh you and turn your life around.  

My story

At a young age (around 11), I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ.  However, I felt that Christianity was very boring.  In my heart, I said that I would live more for Jesus when I got older …. like over 60!  

Although I attended church every Sunday, it was difficult to participate.  I didn’t even open my mouth to sing!  Then, things began to change when two almost parallel events took place.  One, I started attending a small group Bible study conducted by a relative who is a pastor and secondly, I got involved in a Christian student group at university.  

In the students’ Christian group, it shattered my belief that Christianity was boring.  My life was never the same after a hike that I attended with the group.  A few years later, I was talking on Facebook to one of my highschool friends.  I told her that I was serving Jesus and she said she nearly fell off her chair on hearing it. Lol  I’ve come a long way!

3) He will try to discourage you.

Finally, his last major tactic is discouragement.  This one has caused many faithful believers to give up.  It is said that many start the race, but few end well.  How many Christians do you know have lost their zeal or have given up on God’s call on their lives?  

You may still be faithfully serving Christ, but you are weighed down by unfulfilled dreams; disappointed in your failures; shackled by the rejection of others; and stripped of your passion by life’s hardships.  It can be a sad state of affairs … but for God!  If this describes you, you need to cry out to God for his healing and refreshing.  More importantly, ask other Christians to pray for you.  Right now, you need to be surrounded by the care, encouragement and prayers of the Body of Christ so that God can restore you.  

The church and the world needs what you have.  Also, you will be better off fulfilling God’s call on your life.  Do you know anyone who is discouraged that you could adopt in prayer?

“When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.  The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:17-19 ESV

Related articles

Why Jesus is Better Than a Husband | 10 Epic Reasons

9 Powerful Prayers Every Single Woman Should Pray

Summary

God wants you to live for Him fully.  As John Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”  Although the enemy will come and try to “steal, kill and destroy”, remember that Jesus is the super victorious one so you don’t have to live in fear.  Instead, submit your life fully to Jesus and allow Him to bring beauty out of it.  He’s certainly able!

What strategy has the enemy used against you in the past?  What weak points do you need to work on in cooperation with His Holy Spirit?  Have you given up on what God has called you to do?  Who can you reach out to for prayer?  Please comment below and share with the Petals Bloom community.

During my lonnnnnnng years of singleness, I read lots of books that helped me to grow as a daughter of God and as a woman.  I have selected 36 of them and created “My Favorite Books for Single Christian Women” to share with you since some of these books might also help you.  Get your free “My Favorite Books for Single Christian Women” when you subscribe.  If you’re already a subscriber, you can access it also.  

When you subscribe, you will also receive weekly emails to help you in your journey as a single Christian woman.  God has given me the opportunity to mentor and coach over one hundred women throughout the years and I’d absolutely love to help you too.  See you on the inside (aka email)!  Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

Like, share & subscribe!

Love,

Kimberly Garth 

The post 3 Crafty Strategies of The Enemy and How to Overcome appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Without a doubt, many of us are saddened by the loss of lives.  To further compound the matter, millions of people have lost their jobs or earning capacity. 

How can you have joy in the midst of this crisis?

While you may not be able to control the ravaging effects of covid-19, you can control the way in which you respond.  Yes, you can still have joy!

“Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.” Proverbs 25:28 

“A person can endure anything that life throws at him if he understands that he has the freedom to choose what to feel about each situation he faces, no matter how strongly he is opposed by outside forces that he cannot control.” Viktor Frankl in ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’

Here are 8 tips on how to have joy in the midst of a crisis:

1) Count your blessings.

When a crisis occurs, you have two choices.  Are you going to fill your mind with all that is going wrong and might go wrong?  Or are you going to recall all your current blessings and opportunities that the crisis has brought?  

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8 ESV

In order to follow Philippians 4:8, you have to intentionally train yourself to be grateful.  Firstly, you need to pay attention to your thought life.  When a less-than-desirable situation occurs, what is your natural tendency? (If you don’t know, ask a relative or friend.)

If you have developed a habit of negative thinking over the years, this is a good time to replace it with a positive mindset that is based on God’s Word.

Action steps:

• When you wake up, write down 10 things for which you are grateful.
• If a trying situation arises, think about 5 opportunities that you have because of it.
• Before you go to bed, recall 5 things for which you are grateful.

If you need a little help, get your free “100 Things to be Thankful for” list.

Also, check out “7 Great Opportunities from This Pandemic.”

Here are some blessings and opportunities from this crisis:

• Re-evaluate your life and priorities and make corrections.
• Spend more time with God.
• Experience God as your provider, protector, comforter, etc.
• Motivate you to study what the Bible says about the end times.
• Deepen relationships with family and friends.
• Provide an opportunity to have a much-needed change in career (especially if you’ve lost your job).

“Anything that makes us need God is a blessing.” Nancy Leigh DeMoss Wolgemuth

2) Be a light and a voice of hope to others.

People are grieving, worried and panicking all over the world.  As such, they need hope.  The best hope you can give is the message of eternal life and peace that comes from a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Hence, if you know someone is having a particularly rough time, reach out to them.  Listen to them; share Jesus with them; and pray with them.  I don’t think anyone is refusing prayer these days!

3) Fill your life with God’s Word.

When you read God’s Word, it helps to put everything into the right perspective – death, suffering, healing, comfort and everything else under the sun. 

In the times ahead, life may become even more challenging.  Therefore, you need to prepare yourself by studying, meditating and memorizing God’s Word.  

Many Christians may read God’s Word, but not necessarily believe it.  This is the time for the Word of God to come alive in every believer’s life.

“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, …” Ephesians 6:16-17 ESV

4) Dedicate time to sing and dance.

In a recent conversation with a woman who lost her beloved husband five years ago, she said that praising God through song during that difficult period allowed her to cope well and experience God’s peace.  Hearing her speak, I detected no bitterness about her loss.  

During this crisis, set aside time daily to sing praises to God.  It will fill your heart with joy and help you to focus on who God is (and not on the effects of the virus).

“When we thank, praise & worship God, we prime our circuits for high intellectual function, & every cell in our body is positively affected.” Dr. Caroline Leaf

5) Talk with life-giving friends.

If you’re beginning to despair, contact a relative or friend with whom you will be able to speak and pray.  Undeniably, it’s normal to feel saddened by what is happening and that’s why we need to rely on one another.  

Also, don’t wait for someone to reach out to you and please resist having a no-one-cares-for-me pity party.  Remember that everyone is trying to adjust to this new normal and you may not be at the front of their minds.  Nevertheless, they will probably be happy to talk and pray for you. 

At the same time, you also need to encourage yourself in the Lord, so that you can give life-giving hope to others!

6) Do not worry but pray.

Whenever you feel like worrying, bow your head in prayer instead.  Worrying will solve nothing and only give you backache, a headache and diarrhea!  On the other hand, God has all the power and resources to work on your behalf.

“… do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 ESV

7) Correct poor theology about trials and suffering.

Why do some Christians believe that we will have no trials here on earth?  It is clearly stated in the Bible that in this world, trials are to be expected.  

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 ESV

However, God has a purpose for every trial He allows.  Essentially, trials are meant to mature us, and not destroy us.  The way you respond to trials show you what you truly believe about God.  Is He in control? Is He still good when you suffer?  Will you still trust in Him? Is His grace sufficient for you?

8) Limit news intake to once or twice a day.

If you listen to every news update, you’ll most likely feel increasingly burdened and depressed.  That will not help you to have joy. 

It is important that you know what is happening, but you don’t need to know every covid-19 statistic, heartbreaking stories of losing loved ones, exhausted health care facilities, lack of ventilators, country comparisons, death tolls, rates of infection, conspiracy theories and the list goes on.

You just need to know enough to pray and prepare.  Block out the rest!  

Related articles 

Summary

As a Christian, you can have joy regardless of the circumstances of your life.  More than having a positive attitude, it comes from having a deep intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.  This is my prayer for you:

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26 ESV

What other tips are helping you to have joy right now?  What did you do in the past to keep your joy when you were faced with challenging situations? Please comment below.

Get your free “100 Things to be Thankful for” list today to help you be thankful to God.  He remains good!  

When you subscribe to “Petals Bloom”, you’ll receive helpful weekly email tips because I would love to help you grow in your relationships with God and others.  Feel free to email me to let me know how you are doing and in what ways I can pray for you.  

Also, join me on Facebook @PetalsBloomBlog for my weekly live events on Thursdays at 8pm (Atlantic Standard Time).  Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

Like, share & subscribe!

With love,

Kimberly Garth

“Petals Bloom is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.”

Recommended Books:

“Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl

“Think, Learn, Succeed: Understanding and Using Your Mind to Thrive at School, the Workplace and Life” by Dr. Caroline Leaf

The post How to Have Joy in the Midst of This Crisis | 8 Simple Tips appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Two months ago, none of us would have thought that our lives would be radically different today. Now, we are overwhelmed by the realities of schools closing, self-quarantine, losing loved ones, food shortages, job losses, businesses declining, mass histeria, shortages of medical supplies and the list goes on.

We don’t know if we will get the virus; if we will die; or if we will lose our loved ones.  We pray and hope, but ultimately our lives and destinies rest in the hands of the Almighty God.  

However, good can come out of this pandemic.  Therefore, let us life our lives with purpose and allow the love of God to flow through us to others.

Here are 7 great opportunities from COVID-19 pandemic:

1) Show love.

Category 1: Those who are very ill with the virus.

In the early church, the Christians were the ones to care for the sick when they were rejected by others.  Unless you’re in the medical fraternity, you may not have the opportunity to directly care for the severely ill, but you can serve in other ways.  

Take time everyday to pray for those who are fighting for their lives and lend support to their families by reaching out and helping to meet a need.

Category 2: Those who are not seriously ill, but are in self-quarantine.

It is certainly not wise (or loving) to be near someone who has the virus, but you can show support and care by finding out what are his/her needs.  When someone is ill, he/she might need prayer, medication and a good pot of soup.  You can be the person who can be God’s hands and feet during this time. 

But if you are dropping off items, maintain the distance and follow all precautions (and the law).  This is not a time for socializing!

Category 3: The elderly and people with compromised immune systems.

For the sake of God’s love, intentionally avoid crowds and any social/fellowship activities at this time.  Even if you’re healthy and you believe that God will preserve your life, it will be irresponsible and unloving if you were to be the one through whom the virus spreads, especially to our beloved elderly and to people who already have health challenges.

A pandemic is a great opportunity for the Body of Christ to show our love to the world.  

2) Forgive and reconcile.

A family member, friend or peer might have severely hurt you.  This is a good time to forgive them… for your benefit and for theirs.  Did you know that forgiveness is good for your mind, soul and body?  Right now, you need to be as healthy as possible to deal with this pandemic!

It would indeed be sad if they were to die (or you) and you didn’t have time to make peace.  

3) Share with others.

I saw a video circulating on social media with a man showing his stock of food items and supplies …. obviously proud of his treasure.  With the number of items in his house, he can very well open a mini supermarket. As a result of this type of panic buying and hoarding, there would be countless people who have been left without.  

As a people of God, we should be the ones to share during this pandemic.  Let us trust God to stretch and multiply what we have.  The same God who multiplied the fishes and bread in two accounts (Mark 8:1-9 & Luke 9:10-17) is alive and can do it again and again.  As a matter of fact, His abilities to provide will never be impaired by a pandemic or a world recession.  He is our great provider.

‘In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'”’ Acts 20:35 ESV

4) Focus on what is eternally important.

When you come to the end of your life, what do you think will matter the most to you?  You’d probably say your key relationships … with God and your loved ones. 

Relationship with God.

Stressful times like these can draw us closer to God which is eternally beneficial. Take this great opportunity to spend more time nurturing your relationship with God.  Allow Him to fill your heart and mind with His peace. Experience the joy that only He can bring.

Relationships with family and close friends. 

Take this time to nurture your relationship with your loved ones. Reach out to family members with whom you have not spoken for months and years.  This is a good time to try to mend a struggling relationship. 

5) Share the good news with non-Christians using virtual methods.

When death is in the “air”, most people panic because they are unprepared for death.  As true followers of Jesus, we need to give to non-Christians the hope that we have in Jesus.  

It is very comforting to know that I will be with Jesus even if I die from the virus (or any other death).  If you have already sincerely repented of your sins and placed your trust in Jesus Christ to save you, then you have the same hope.

As such, we should not be in panic like the rest of the world, but share the good news of salvation through Jesus Christ which promises eternity for those who put their trust in our Savior.

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 ESV

‘For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.  For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.”’ Romans 1:16-17 ESV

If you don’t know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior and you want to know more about this, email me at kimberly@petalsbloom.com.  I’ll be happy to share with you.

6) Retrain yourself.

For most of you, you will have more leisure time these days.  As a consequence, it is very tempting to spend all your free time watching every update of the virus on social media and news broadcasts.  Albeit, you need to be informed, but too much becomes overkill and an obsession.

Or you might choose to spend your time binging on movies, videos and series on Netflix, YouTube, Amazon Prime or some other entertainment medium.  Resist that temptation!  

This pandemic will change our immediate future. Here are are likely outcomes:

• Job losses due to businesses’ inability to pay workers or the closing of companies.
• Since many companies have been “forced” to operate remotely, certain jobs may become redundant when companies realize that they need less workers due to technological advancements.

Depending on your job, you may need new skills to remain marketable.

As a precautionary measure, use your time wisely to develop new skills or enhance the ones you currently possess. 

Also, explore other ways of having another income stream like writing a book; starting a blog or vlog to share a skill or knowledge; or teach a course on online platforms like Teachable and Udemy.  Do some research because there are numerous ways that you can explore.

7) Grow your own food.

This is a good time to start a little kitchen or backyard garden.  Regardless of your available space, you can gain some level of food independence.  If your friends and family members also start one, you can barter just like in the good old days.  

No one knows what the future may bring, but it is better to be prepared for the worst case scenario.  Besides, you can never go wrong with growing your own food.  Undoubtedly, you will always need food to eat. 

Related articles:

Doing This Changed My Life

10 Easy Tips to Start Journaling today 

Ladies, God is still alive and well, even in the midst of a pandemic. You need not worry about death, starvation or job losses.  He is quite able to take care of you.  Allow Him the opportunity to show You how good and great He is.  

Even if death should come, let us have the mindset like Paul in Philippians 1:21-24 (see below).

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.” Philippians 1:21-24 ESV

What blessings can you see from this COVID-19 pandemic?  In what ways can you show kindness to others? Comment below and share with all the readers.  

If you would like help in developing your relationships with God and with others, subscribe and you will receive weekly email tips.  

With all the panic in the air, learning to memorize and meditate on God’s Word will help to keep you calm; help Your faith in God to grow; and empower you to live a victorious Christian life.  It will transform your life! When you subscribe, you will also receive “How to Memorize an Entire Book of the Bible” guide.

Additionally, click reply and let me know who you are and in what ways I can help you grow as a single woman.  I’d be only happy to help you as others have helped me. Thanks for stopping by!

#madetolove

Like, share & subscribe!

With love,

Kimberly Garth

Recommended books:

“When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight For Joy” by John Piper 

“You are Free: Be Who You Already Are” by Rebekah Lyons 

“Petals Bloom is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.”

The post 7 Great Opportunities From COVID-19 Pandemic appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Would you like to improve your ability to pray?

Do you have difficulty believing God?

Are you losing your joy?

Do you want to be wise in relationships, finances, business and every other area of your life?

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. Psalm 19:7-11

My story …

In 2007, I began memorizing entire books of the Bible and it is the one habit that has totally changed my life. In my early years of attending children’s Bible class, I attempted to memorize one verse a week but that did not translate to a life-long habit. Also, by learning only one verse, here, there and everywhere, my theology was somewhat disjointed and it was common to take Scripture out of context.

Doing this changed my life – memorizing books of the Bible. Here are ten awesome reasons why memorizing whole books of the Bible can also change your life:

1) You will remember easier.

The entire Bible is God’s great love story of redemption from Old Testament to the New Testament. It’s messages are beautifully woven through stories, songs, sayings, revelations, poetry, and letters. A verse is connected to verses before and after it and they all come together in chapters and books to relay messages. Everything has cohesion.

By memorizing an entire book, you would be able to connect the entire story of the author and discover a deeper understanding of the author’s message and intention. Therefore, its connectivity makes it easier to memorize books than verses scattered throughout the Bible.

2) You will understand the context of the Scripture.

How many times do we take a Scripture verse out of context? When you repeat an entire book over and over (again and again) as a whole, it’s more difficult to misinterpret. You will be better able to identify when inaccurate teachings and thus protect yourself. Additionally, I have found that my convictions became stronger and my understanding of core doctrines became clearer.

Of course, applying in-depth Bible study will unearth the riches that cannot be found by merely surface reading but memorizing definitely helps with understanding the author’s intent. Going over a text over and over is actually the first step to proper study of the Word.

3) Your faith in God will increase.

My husband thinks that God answers all my prayers. I don’t know about that but my faith in God has grown astronomically because I’ve internalized large portions of Scripture. The Bible is not a composition of mere stories, but its words are in fact powerful. My faith in God made my prayers a true weapon of warfare.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

4) Your prayers will be ignited.

When you know the Word, you can quote the Word when you pray. Since the Word is very powerful, it will give a measure of power to your prayers because they are backed by an all-powerful God who inspired the Word in the first place. Your own words can never compare to the power of God’s Word.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

5) Your love for God will be revived again and again.

When you memorize Scripture, your heart will begin to appreciate even more what God has done through Jesus Christ. You will be humbled that God extended His love to you because of His grace. You will understand the gospel more and appreciate your salvation in a deeper more meaningful way.

When I’m singing to God, many times I find myself in tears because the Word in my heart brings to my mind God’s love and grace to me through His wonderful gift of salvation. My heart overflows with joy and it revives my love for Him continually. Many times, when I recite Scripture, I even sense God’s presence.

6) It can be so much fun.

Think about the circumstances surrounding the text and the mood of the author. Perhaps you can act it out. I have fun dramatizing a passage than simply repeating it. I go in front of the mirror and let the drama begin! For those of you who like to sing, you can apply a rhythmic beat to it. Do whatever suits your fancy. The important thing is to have fun doing it.

7) It will give you wisdom and change your character.

God’s Word is filled with wisdom for every area of our lives. When you repeat His wisdom of God over and over, it moves from your head to your heart. As you apply it, you will begin to make wiser choices and it will begin to transform your character.

8) It is good for your brain.

I think my ability to remember details has improved since I’ve started memorizing books of the Bible. My focus is also better.

9) It helps to combat over-analyzing and depression.

If you’re the type of person who is prone to overthinking a situation; you have difficulty resting because your mind is constantly racing; you tend to focus on the negatives of life; or self-introspect to the point of depression, then memorizing books may be helpful for you.

Memorizing books of the Bible will help you to train your thoughts. Instead of being bombarded by unproductive thinking, the large reservoir of the Word in your mind will begin to transform your thought life. I heard about two people who overcame depression by memorizing large portions of the Word. The Word will even change any depressing thoughts about being single.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

10) You will be strengthened to overcome sinful tendencies.

Are you struggling to live the Christian life? Do you consistently feel defeated by sinful habits? The good news is that the truth of the Word has the power to penetrate your hearts; wash your mind; and give you the power to live in victory. Ignorance is stifling your growth and your soul is starving.

You’re living on spiritual ‘crackers’ when God has provided a magnificent delightful spread of truth and freedom in His Word. Knowing a few verses throughout the Bible is insufficient to win the war that is against your soul. As you shower your soul with the Word, you’ll begin to overcome and blossom in ways that you never thought possible. Instead of feeling like a victim, you’ll begin to feel stronger to fight against sinful tendencies.

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11

Related article:

How to Beat Porn Addiction and Other Sexually Addictive Behaviors | 10 Practical Tips

Summary

By memorizing entire books of the Bible, it will be easier to remember; you will understand the context of Scripture better; you’ll see your faith in God increase; your prayers will be ignited; your love for God will grow deeper; you’ll have more fun learning; it will give you wisdom and change your character; it’s good for your brain; it’ll help to combat tendencies to over-analyze and become depressed; and you will be strengthened to overcome sinful tendencies.

There are more reasons, but these should be sufficient to arouse your interest! Need a little help? Get your free ‘How to Memorize an Entire Book of the Bible’ guide.

My challenge to you

I would like to encourage every single woman to cultivate this habit of memorizing whole books of the Bible. Memorizing the first five books of the Bible was a common practice among devout Jews. If they can do it, we can too!

We’re not doing it to boastfully quote Scripture to impress others. Our motivation is to know the Word so that it draws us closer to God; to become more like Christ; and to equip us to be instruments of blessing to the world.

Honestly, it does require time and discipline but it’s so worth it! Scripture memorizing does not replace Bible study, but it surely helps it.

Let’s start a movement! Get your free ‘How to Memorize an Entire Book of the Bible’!

I’d love to hear your thoughts and get your feedback. Is it a habit that you currently practice? Is it a discipline that you’d like to start? Please comment below. To all my subscribers, thank you for responding to my weekly emails. I’m encouraged by your feedback that the weekly emails ‘speak’ to your hearts.

If you’re not a subscriber as yet and you’d like to receive my weekly emails, please join my mailing list. Also, you’ll receive your free ‘How to Memorize an Entire Book of the Bible’ guide when you subscribe. Thanks for stopping by!

Like, share and subscribe!

With love,

Kimberly

Recommended resources:

The Holy Bible

“Petals Bloom is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.”

The post Doing This Changed My Life Forever! 10 Pointers appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Are you single and disappointed?

You’ve been faithful to God and you’ve sought to make Him the top priority in your life.  Yet, another year has come and you’re still unmarried.

You look at other single Christian women who have ‘gotten through’, and you think that something must be wrong with you. Why is God not hearing and giving you what you desire? Doesn’t your faithfulness count for something?

Compromise? No way!

Regardless, you’re the kind of woman who will not compromise your biblical values …even to get married. You’re not going to engage in premarital sex just to get a man by your side. Furthermore, being with a non-Christian is an absolute no-no.

Furthermore, being with a married man (even if he’s planning to get a divorce) is out of the question. If those were the only options to get married, you’ve made up your mind that loving God and being obedient to Him would still take priority over being married.

But even so, your obedience to God seems to be getting you nowhere.   You’re disappointed and perhaps even angry with God. The struggle is real.

These are genuine feelings among countless single Christian females, especially among those who are older and have never been married.  There are always exceptions, but most single women have an inborn desire to have a family.

This unfulfilled natural longing can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, anger and even depression.  

My own struggles with being single and disappointed.

I can relate very well to your convictions and struggles. In the midst of enjoying my season of singleness, I also vividly remember my own struggles of disappointment and crying out to God to fill this desire to be married.

It was honestly rough at times. However, God always gave the grace during those periods and gave me wisdom to successfully handle my unmet longings.

Here are 5 helpful tips to help you to deal with being single and disappointed.

1. Don’t deny it.

You are disappointed and there’s no need to deny it. ‘Call a spade a spade.’ God already knows your heart so there’s no need to pretend.

In most therapies, the first step is always facing the truth about yourself. As such, it’ll be good to share your feelings with trusted friends whether they are single or married.

If your friends will make fun of you, then you’ll need some new friends! Now, I’m not recommending an ongoing pity-party or ‘men-are-no-good’ bashing party.

Remember, this is about you at the moment and it is healthy to face your issue in order to deal with it. You do not have to remain single and disappointed.

2. Cry out to God.

Be vulnerable with God, not in a disrespectful way, but let him know how you feel about the situation. Prayer is the simple act of communicating with God. Allow God to meet you in the deepest place of your heart and soul.

So, you can do this by writing, speaking or singing to God.

A. Communicating with God through writing .

While I was single, I wrote to God in my journals … expressing all my hurts, regrets, frustrations and disappointments. It felt incredibly freeing to let it all out. Therefore, I would recommend that you begin journaling as soon as possible.

Read the article ‘10 Easy Steps to Start Journaling Today’. It’ll help you to detox your emotions and to gain some clarity. You can get your FREE journal printable and join my 21-day journal challenge to get help to begin this life-changing habit.

B. Communicating with God through talking.

You don’t need a special place or even a special time. Right now, you can talk to God. Whenever you feel like you’re drowning in sadness, lift your heart to Him and cry out to Him. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to bawl, then bawl.

‘Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.’ (1 Peter 5:7)

C. Communicating with God through singing.

Singing your heart out can work miracles when you’re feeling depressed about your singleness. One of my favorite songs when I felt that my heart was breaking was ‘Enough’ by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio. Here are the lyrics:

“All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re my coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me.”

What songs have encouraged you when you felt single and disappointed?

3. Be a part of a healthy community.

We all need loving relationships. You may not have a husband, but having deep close friendships will fill your heart with love. For me, my friends were a tremendous support.

Therefore, you may want to be a part of a community that seeks to follow God and hold true to His values. If there are other single Christian women in your sphere, intentionally meet to encourage and to be your sister’s keep.

Be intentional to have a great time together. Don’t spend all your time talking about how sad and unfulfilled you are. Undoubtedly, there’s a lot more to this life than being married.

4. Build your confidence.

Confidence is attractive to men, job recruiters, coworkers, customers, etc. You need to feel good about yourself deep down in your bones. At any rate, your significance is not tied to your marital status.

I had one phase when I felt so desperate and needy. It was not pretty.  To put an end to that, I had to rewire my brain and build up my self-confidence.

Maybe you can do a makeover. Wear colors that make you look alive. Perhaps, even add a few new pieces to your wardrobe. Get a new hairstyle. In short, take some time for yourself and do things that would make you feel beautiful.

5. Guard your heart.

One of the best things to deal with being single and disappointed is to guard your heart. This means being intentionally in the following areas:

A. Your entertainment.

Have you ever finished watching a romantic movie at night and then as you enter dreamland, you somehow become the heroine in the movie?

After I intentionally stopped watching romantic movies for a prolonged period of time, my fantasies stopped and my intense longing for romance decreased significantly.

I became a lot happier being single. The way you think is a consequence of what you dwell on.

What shows, books, movies or music are driving your discontentment? I don’t think we realize just how much entertainment affects our entire being. Are you willing to reduce your fantasy stimuli, especially romantic movies/chick flicks?

Removing the triggers will lesson your feelings of being single and disappointed.

B. Your friends and family.

Which persons around you are influencing negative emotions about being unmarried?  I would suggest a change in ‘diet’ from them as well (if possible).  

You need to actively reduce or cut off negative stimuli or otherwise, your phase of being single and disappointed will last too long. If the negativity comes from persons with whom you live, let them know that what they are saying to you is not helpful.  

Instead, consciously seek to be around persons who are positive and who would help you to have a balanced biblical perspective on your singleness. Check out “5 Compelling Reasons Why Singleness is Beautiful.” 

Proverbs 4:23 wisely advised, ‘Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.’

Related articles:

5 Compelling Reasons Why Singleness is Beautiful 

10 Fun Ideas to Kill Boredom

Summary

These are some actions that I have implemented to help me to deal with the disappointment of being single for longer than I wanted. Whether you remain single for the rest of your life or get married, you want to be joyful.

Therefore, it is very important that you take responsibility for only what you can do. Making some of these changes will not be easy, but I hope, they would make the world of difference in lessening the things that fuel your disappointment.  

Instead of being single and disappointed, you’ll be single and having a time of your life!

What other tips would you recommend?  Which songs have inspired you? Comment below because I would love to hear what has or is helping you to navigate this season.

Subscribe and receive your FREE ‘Know Yourself’ questionnaire. If you need to communicate with me directly, then click subscribe. As a subscriber, you’ll also receive my short weekly emails to help you in your decision to follow Christ. Click reply and share with me your singleness journey. Thanks for stopping by!

#madetolove

Share, subscribe and comment!

With lots of love,

Kimberly

Recommended Books:

‘Singled Out for Him’ by Nancy Leigh De Moss

The Path of Loneliness: Finding Your Way Through the Wilderness to God’ by Elisabeth Elliot

‘Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred’ by Carolyn McCulley

“Petals Bloom is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.”

The post Single and disappointed…5 Helpful Tips to Deal with It. appeared first on Petals Bloom.

You’re realizing that you’re with the wrong guy.  You know that you should end the relationship but you can’t imagine a future without him.  How do you even separate your intertwined lives? You honestly thought that he was the one that you were going to marry.

Unfortunately, heartbreak is an unavoidable evil of this life. We all make unwise decisions that will inevitably affect many others. Ending a relationship is very difficult, but it’s important to do it as soon as possible if you already know that he’s not the one for you. You can check out ‘6 Guys to Resist’ and ‘5 Truths Why You’re Still Single’. Here are some of the benefits for ending it now:

1. You’ll be able to move on quicker. You are wasting time (his and yours) when you continue to invest in a relationship that needs to end. Time is the most precious resource that we all have. Once time is gone, we can never get it back.
2. Both you and him can begin to heal before you both get ready for your future mates. Healing requires time and it cannot be rushed. Sometimes, it can take years to even realize the damage that has been done. After over 10 years of my first failed relationship, I realised that I had some serious rejection issues. Yes, it took me that long!
3. You can begin to work on the issues that contributed to your poor decisions. You need to discover your weaknesses and flaws and actively work on becoming a healthier person. If you don’t, it is quite likely that you’ll repeat the same mistakes in the future.
4. You will be making room for your future husband. You never know…he might actually be observing you right now.

I was in a relationship with a guy (‘Charlie’) for over 5 years that needed to end. I couldn’t imagine life without him. ‘Charlie’ was a good guy, but there were some aspects of the relationship that were not healthy at all. Deep down, I knew that it needed to end, but I didn’t want to end it. I remember talking with one of my friends who was seeing all the mess. He was advising me to open my eyes and put an end to the ‘madness’. I said to him, ‘you don’t think that God can change him?’ Ladies, we cannot be in love with the future version of a man.  Who knows when the change might come?! It might be when he’s on his last breath after 50 years of a stressful marriage! You don’t want to spend your whole married life in mourning and praying for your husband to change. We know that no one is perfect, but choose your battles very carefully (read ‘6 Guys to Resist’).

“There are many people who will stay in negative situations because it is familiar, rather than go where there is promise of something good, because that would be something unfamiliar” 
― Stormie Omartian, Lead Me, Holy Spirit: Longing to Hear the Voice of God

I have learned some important lessons when ‘Charlie’ and I broke up. If there was one thing we did well, it was that we ended the relationship well. Here are some tips that can help you as you end your relationship:

1) Pray

Although we see men as tough and strong, they have hearts that can hurt just like ours. If you know that you’re going to break up with him, pray that:

1. God will help him to deal with the breakup healthily.
2. God will heal his heart.
3. He may run to God to fill the void in his life.
4. God will help him to change in the ways that are unhealthy.

You can pray along similar lines for yourself. It’s always good to invite the prayers of other believers during this time. ‘The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective’ (James 5:16b).

2) Be direct

When you’re dealing with someone’s heart, it’s best not to ‘beat around the bush’.  You owe it to him to be as tactful as you can in expressing your desire to end it.  At that point in time, I wouldn’t recommend making any promises that there might be a possible re-establishment of the relationship in the future. You don’t know the future. As you develop, you will become a different person and if he remains unchanged, you may not be interested. Please note that if you’re in a very abusive relationship, you’ll need to take great precautionary measures when informing him of the break-up.

3) Set boundaries

When ‘Charlie’ and I entered our relationship, ‘Charlie’ said that if we were to ever break-up, we should have no contact for at least 6 months. I willingly agreed although I didn’t think we would ever break-up! This was one of the best and wisest decisions that we made. You often hear about couples who are ‘on again and off again’ repeatedly for years. That pattern happens because they continue to operate like they are in a relationship with each other. They see, call and message each other regularly. This type of behavior is emotionally draining to say the least.

Additionally, you might be the person who is certain that you don’t want to be with the other person. ‘Charlie’ might be hoping that one day, you’ll come back to him. When you remain in constant contact with your ‘Charlie’, you are not helping him to move on. He will remain hopeful that a ‘re-uniting’ is imminent. Later, when he hears that you’ve found the ‘love of your life’, he’ll be more devastated and heart-broken. Love him enough by helping him to move on as quickly as possible. Cut the communication channels for an extended time. This may sound harsh, but sometimes we need to take drastic measures to protect ourselves and others. How much time would you allow for no communication? After the time has elapsed, you can decide how much communicating you will do with him. If the relationship was highly abusive, you may want to stay away indefinitely.

4) Develop your relationship with God

During this difficult season, you want to focus more time in your relationship with God. The break-up will leave a void in your life and growing intimacy with Jesus is the best void-filler. You need His healing and deliverance. You’ll need His truth to uncover the issues that you must address. You’ll need His grace to go through this rough, trying period. You’ll need his wisdom and direction to take corrective action. You’ll need His strength to go through the difficult, stretching but needed growing pains. You simply need God! The process of growth is not easy but it’s necessary. Don’t take shortcuts:) An excellent resource that I’ve read is ‘Changes that Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You’’ by Henry Cloud.

5) Surround yourself with family and friends

We are created for relationship. Oftentimes, God uses other humans in our healing process. You need your family and friends more than ever. Also, ask God for healthy female friends. My closest friends are female and it would be difficult to journey through life without them. Not all female friends are created equal so pray about it and proceed with faith and not fear in working on those relationships.

6) Work on developing you

After the break-up, you will have more time on your hands. Start dreaming again about the ‘new and improved’ you. What hobbies would you like to start? Which places would you like to visit? What new skill would you like to nurture? Exciting times are ahead for you!

As time passes, your heart will heal and the sting of the loss will become less and less. You’ll be glad that you took courage and ended the relationship sooner rather than later. During the initial extended time apart from him, work on yourself, your relationship with God and others. In the midst of the crying, you’ll also learn to laugh as you let God and others into your pain. My encouragement to you is to let go of fear and take steps of faith to end it now.

“Fear is the currency of oppression.” By Danielle Strickland

Journaling is a good practice when you end a relationship. It will help you to be aware of your emotions and let it all out on paper. Bottling up toxic emotions can never be healthy.  You’ll find that journaling will be therapeutic for you and assist you in coming to terms with all that’s happening. Read ‘10 Quick and Easy Tips to Start Journaling TODAY’. Join my 21-day journal challenge and get your FREE journal printable to start today.

What are some tips that you’ve found helpful in ending a relationship? I’d love to hear about your break-up experiences and the lessons that you’ve learnt. Please feel free to comment below. Your comment might be helpful to another woman. You can also share your fears about breaking up. I want to be there for you in your journey. Subscribe and get your FREE ‘Know Yourself’ questionnaire. You will also receive my weekly email tips and be able communicate with me directly.

Subscribe, share and comment!

With love,

Kimberly

Recommended Books:

‘Beating the Break-up Habit’ by Dick Purcell

‘Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You’’ by Henry Cloud

‘Changes That Heal Workwork: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You’ by Henry Cloud

‘Lead me, Holy Spirit, Longing to Hear the Voice of God’ by Stormie Omartian

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The post 6 Tips to End a Relationship Well appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Have you been wanting to journal for a while, but you just can’t get started?  Has journaling consistently been a challenge for you?

Like you, consistent journalling had evaded me for years!  I’d start and stop, start and stop (sometimes even stop for years!). To help you to start journaling immediately, I have a list of what you need at the bottom of the post.

Then finally, about three years ago, on January the 1st, I actually restarted journaling and I haven’t stopped since.  Yippee! Well, to be honest, I have missed a few days here and there, especially when I was traveling, but I would consider that a significant improvement.

Let me share with you what has helped me to begin and maintain this habit.  If I can do it, you can too.

Here are my tips for starting a habit of journaling:

1) Keep it short and sweet!

I remember that at the start of my job training, I had to keep a journal.  I was excited to get started. As a result, I would write pages upon pages for one journal entry … like I was writing a book!  Well, I certainly couldn’t keep that up. At the end of my nine-month training, my journal was looking rather sparse.

When I restarted three years ago, I decided to keep it to only one page of my journal notebook.  Since you’re forming a new habit, it’s best to start small.  

Or, you may end up giving up the whole practice altogether because it just takes way too long.  You can try to devote 5-10 minutes per day for journaling.  When your habit has been cemented, then you can write for longer.

2) Write to God.

You can choose to write to God … so you can tell him all your troubles. And thank him too.  He’s the only one who has the power to do anything in any case.

3) Have a writing guide to start journaling.

It’s always good to have something to guide your writing.

Here’s a loose guide for you:

1. Things that happened in the day that made you feel thankful.  It’s always good to cultivate a grateful heart.  Regardless of what happens in a day, there’s at least one thing for which you can be grateful.
2. Next, express your concerns to God.  We know that He already knows, but it can be extremely healthy to pen your thoughts to Him.
3. Write your notes on what you are learning from the Word.
4. You can write your requests to God.  Basically, this is writing your prayers.
5. Close.  I write, ‘Love, Kimberly’.

It’s like a love letter to God. Easy like peasy!  Get my FREE printable journal and access to my resource library (at the bottom).

4) Be honest and gracious with yourself.

Express how you are feeling at that particular moment.  You don’t need to pretty it up. Also, when you’re now starting, you may miss a few days since the habit is pretty new.   Don’t throw in the towel and say, ‘next year I’ll try again’. Just start again when you remember.  Be gracious to yourself and get back on track.

5) Write something every day.

You’ll probably be more successful in developing this habit if it were to be done daily instead of every other day or three times a week.  A daily commitment is key. When I’m extremely tired, my journal entries tend to be super short but that’s OK. Just write something … even one line.

6) Say goodbye to perfectionism.

Your language doesn’t have to be perfect.  It doesn’t have to be in paragraph form. As a matter of fact, you can use a bullet list if that tickles your fancy. You can even draw if you so choose.

7) Choose the best time of day.

This may seem inconsequential but don’t underestimate the time of day when you write.  You can journal at the start of the day by reflecting on the previous day and thinking of the day ahead.

Alteratively, you can use it to reflect and debrief at the end of the day.  I’ve done both and I prefer the nights.  Do whatever suits you. But do try to be consistent with either one to form a routine.

8) Select a medium to start journaling.

I’ve used both hardcopy versions of journals or digital journals .  Which is the best for you?

A traditional journal book is best for you, if you:

1. Love the feel of real books.
2. Prefer to actually write, using a normal pen or pencil.
3. Like to collect journals.
4. Feel comfortable that your journal is in your physical space and not online.

Then this is the one for you.

You can get one like this journal notebook.  

However, I have created a free journal printable for you. Print it out and make copies. However, I have made it editable so you can save the trees and simply write in it. It is in my free resource library and you can get the password to it at the bottom of the post. Let nothing stop you from your desire to start journaling today!

A digital journal is better for you if you:

1. Want to save money. You can use a Word document (Microsoft Word, Apple Pages, free Open Office Text Document or free Google Docs) or a note-taking app (Microsoft OneNote, Apple Notes or Google Keep) that is already on your device or can be installed for free.
2. Travel frequently and you want to travel as light as possible. It can be installed on devices that you already carry around (your tablet or smartphone). One less item to pack when you’re traveling.
3. Find that your handwriting is utterly illegible when you’re tired. Typing might work for you if you plan on reading your journals in the future.
4. Want to insert pictures, audio or video to further enhance your memory of a moment.

Get your free editable journal in my resource library.

For the techies like myself, you can get a dedicated journal app.  You have the option of securing your private information with a password or fingerprint.  

9) Start immediately.

To get you started NOW, get my FREE journal printable (get access at the bottom of the post).  You have the best of two worlds.  You can either fill it or you can print it and write on it. You’ll also have an added bonus of receiving my weekly encouragment.

10) Enroll the help of a friend.

You and a friend can start journaling at the same to encourage one another.  Or, you can ask your friend to hold you accountable. It is said that it takes 21 days to form a new habit.   Sign up for my 21-day journal challenge and I would be very happy to ‘hold your hand’ as you establish this habit.

What you need …

A desire to journal.
An intention to journal.
A hardcopy journal notebook, a program, a journal app or my printable journal (which is also editable) from my resource library.
A pen/pencil/stylus/tablet/phone/computer.

So there you have it…10 tips to quickly and easily start a life-changing journaling habit!  Get my printable journal and access to my resource library (see below). I’d love to hear your tips, the benefits you’ve found or even the setbacks of journaling that you’ve encountered.  Let’s have a conversation (use comments section). Thanks for stopping by!

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Free printable journal here!

Get the password for the library with the printable journal by filling out this form:

The post 10 Easy Tips to Start Journaling TODAY appeared first on Petals Bloom.