You just saw on social media that another one of your friends is getting married. Last week, you went to your younger cousin’s wedding.

Then you begin to think, ”Is something wrong with me?.”  You look in the mirror and you see an attractive, intelligent woman with an incredible sense of humor.  

Moreover, you’re a woman who loves God and is seeking to pursue him with all your being. But yet, you believe that God has withheld this one thing that you’ve longed for since you were a little bitty girl … a husband and a family.  Why Lord, why? And why me?

I have felt this way too.  There are no easy answers. Regardless of our unmet desires, God will always be loving, wise and good. In my own journey as a single woman, I’ve discovered why it can be beautiful.

Here are five compelling reasons why singleness is beautiful:

1) FOCUS.

Purpose

You can focus fully on your purpose without distractions.  From what I hear and observe from married couples, a wife’s focus moves toward her family.  Right now, your focus is primarily on “you”.

God

You can have uninterrupted time with God.  You can start praying from as early as 4am and no one may be inconvenienced by lights, praying out loud, singing, walking around or however you choose to spend this time.

Dreams

You can have focus on life-long dreams.  At times, a spouse may have to relinquish (partially, fully or temporarily) some dreams that may negatively affect the marriage.  Far too many persons run after their dreams to the detriment of their family life.

Self-development

You have to time to work on yourself.  I absolutely love to learn! Being single, you certainly have more time for self-development and hobbies.  You can study and pursue degrees and courses to your heart’s delight.

2) FREEDOM.

Easy to relocate

You have the freedom to live in another country for work, study.  You can simply decide to leave your job or take up a foreign assignment.  No discussion, no questions asked… buy your ticket, have a farewell party, pack your bags and fly out!  Living in another country for an extended time is something that I would recommend to all singles. I lived in Jamaica for over three years and it was fantastic!  The experience changes you for the better.

Less stress

The movies don’t tell you this, but successful enjoyable marriages require a lot of hard work.  I’ve heard it said that the number one enemy of a good marriage is selfishness. As a single, life is a piece of cake in comparison.  You can have a peaceful home with no arguments if you live alone. You kick off your shoes, eat some dinner and take it easy. You don’t have to participate in the hobbies of your spouse.  You don’t have to be concerned with pleasing your spouse by how you look. You can cook your food the way you like it.

More for you

You can have the entire bed to yourself.  You can sprawl your little or voluptuous body across the entire bed if you so choose.  As a matter of fact, if you’re small like me, just buy a small bed and save yourself some money! lol

Hobbies

You can indulge in your hobbies as much as you want.  If you love to read (like me), you can spend whole days reading and not be bothered by anyone. The sky’s the limit!  You can travel the world with little complications.

3) FLEXIBILITY.

Work

You can work overtime without guilt.  Single career women often find themselves working late.  (not that I’m suggesting this practice, but I am simply stating reality).  If you work a lot from home like me, you can find yourself working very long days late into the night.  Whenever you feel like stopping, then you stop. If you’re married and you wish to be happily married, you need to have a cut off time to give attention to the needs of your family.

Decision-making

You don’t have to discuss your plans with a spouse.  If you want to socialize with your colleagues after work, you simply do that.  You can spend visit friends and family for prolonged periods. You can go anywhere you want to.  No questions asked.

4) FEWER OBLIGATIONS

Sex

You don’t have to meet anyone’s sexual needs.  As a single Christian woman who embraces sexual purity, you wouldn’t have to be available for sex since you have no husband.

Less ‘mandatory’ chores

You don’t have to cook if you’re not in the mood.  There is no spouse or children to think about. Even cleaning is optional but I wouldn’t recommend that:)  I prefer a clean orderly home.

Money

You can spend money or save or invest your money as you see fit.  You can splurge on your favorite gadgets or clothes or be a miser.  You can cook smaller portions and save money. Also, your food might last longer!  

5) FRIENDSHIPS & FAMILY

Build strong friendships

You have more time to focus on friendships.  Cultivating strong friendships take time. My closest friends are married so it was easier for me to spend the night by them.  

Babysitting

I’ve spent countless days nights babysitting friends’ children.  If I were married, I do believe that would not have been possible.  You can spend more time with nephews and nieces. From my biased judgement and observation, we single ladies make the best aunties!  Why? Because we have time, energy and probably money to indulge the children…play games, cook, bake, take them out, etc.

Elderly

A lot of single women are the ones who take care of their elderly parents.  I have three older single second female cousins and they are the ones who care for my three great aunts.

“One great temptation of singleness is an unrelenting self-focus. We need to be reminded to look outside of our circumstances and ourselves.”  by Carolyn McCulley

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Summary

Let’s be real.  Marriage is awesome but being single also has its advantages.  Life is simply less complicated. It affords focus, freedom, flexibility with fewer obligations and the greater opportunities to invest in family and friends.  

What are your reasons for being thankful as single Christian woman?  I’d love to hear your comments! Don’t forget to subscribe!:) You will also receive a FREE Know Yourself Questionnaire as an added bonus.

Bloom where you are planted!!! Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

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With love,

Kimberly Garth

Recommended Books:

“Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye” by Carolyn Culley

“Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman” by Anne Ortlund

“Let Me be a Woman” by Elisabeth Elliot

“Strong Women Soft Hearts” by Paula Rhinehart

“Singled Out for Him” by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth