Anna is the CEO. She runs things. As she ends her last call for the day, she starts thinking about that one conversation she and her fiancé Mark had with their pastor about pre-marital counseling… and that word kept coming up. Submission.

She almost laughed. She doesn’t submit to anyone! Her whole life is built on taking the lead, having the final word, being equal to—or better than—anyone else in the room. The thought of ‘submitting’ to a man, even a good man like Mark, makes her stomach clench. It feels like signing a contract to give up her power, to erase the woman she has fought so hard to become.

The word “submission” often carries a heavy, negative weight in today’s world. Many women, especially those with strong personalities or executive careers, fear it, seeing it as a surrender of equality or a path to being taken advantage of.

However, the Bible presents Christian submission not as a robotic duty or inferiority, but as a path to order, functionality, and protection—and most importantly, as a choice to honor Christ.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” Ephesians 5:22-24

As an executive-type of woman myself, I’ve learnt that submission is not awful at all! As a matter of fact, it’s quite freeing! From the wisdom of God’s Word and from my own personal experience, I will share with you the gems of biblical submission.

Here are the key truths about happily submitting to your future husband:

1. Submission Is Not Inferiority.

Submitting to a husband does not mean you are less than a man. The core of submission is functionality and order, not a matter of value. Submission was modeled by Christ. Jesus, who is the “image of the invisible God” (in Colossians 1:15) and equal with God, chose to humbly submit to God the Father, even to the point of dying on the cross. When I choose to submit to my husband, I am following the model of Jesus Christ.

“I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.” John 5:30 ESV

“And he who sent me is with me. He has not left me alone, for I always do the things that are pleasing to him.” John 8:29

Also, men and women have equal value. Both men and women are created equal in the image of God and therefore, we all have the same worth.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 ESV

Therefore, choosing to submit to your future husband does not diminish your worth in any form or fashion.

2. Submission is voluntary.

“Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” – Ephesians 5:22-24

What does “subject” mean (or some translations use the word “submit”)?  Subject means to voluntarily relinquish your independent rights. Furthermore, a wife’s submission to her husband is not the same as a child obeying a parent or an employee obeying an employer. A husband cannot demand that you obey him because you’re not in a one-up one-down relationship with him. 

Let’s take Jesus’ example. Christ, in His own free will, chose to submit to the Father’s will, saying in John 5:30, ‘I can do nothing on my own… I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.’ “

You’re following the model of Christ—and that’s a position of immense strength, not weakness.

3. Submission is about divine order evident throughout life.

God has an order assigned to the family structure. It follows that a family will function better when God’s divine order is in operation. Let’s look around—you’ll see that this concept of order and structure, this act of yielding or submission, is actually evident everywhere in life! Children submit to parents; the Church submits to Christ; employees submit to their bosses; team members submit to the team leader; and all of us submit to our governing authorities. Order is important for all relationships and organisations to work well. Submission is an act of giving honor and respect so that we can all function optimally.

4. Mutual submission is biblical.

The Bible talks about mutual submission. 

“… Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21 ESV

If we are all seeking to please God, and not ourselves, then we have to grow up and know that life does not revolve around us. If each of us has the mind to yield to one another, we would have much better relationships in the Body of Christ and in our Christian marriages.

Questions to ask yourself:

• How can God be glorified the most in this situation?
• Do I want my own way at the expense of others (your family, your team, your church, etc.)?

The world will not collapse if you don’t get your own way. 

In Hebrews 1:3, it says that “he upholds the universe by the word of his power.” However, if you cannot come to an agreement, yield to your husband and then bend your knee in prayer. You can NEVER EVER go wrong in praying to the Almighty God. Either God will change your mind; change your husband’s mind or change the situation. I’m a firm believer in the power of praying to God! You don’t need to resort to a temper tantrum like crying, screaming, yelling, whining or refusing to budge!

5. Submission is much easier if you choose a godly husband.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, .. ”Ephesians 5:22-25

A husband’s primary command is greater and more demanding because God has made him the head of the wife. God has given husbands the responsibility to protect and provide for their wives and their children. Our part is to submit to our husbands as they obey God to lead their families.

A godly man is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, even being willing to die for her. This is a man who recognizes his wife is an absolute treasure. God will hold him accountable for how he treats her. A godly husband is committed to loving and being obedient to the Lord. When you marry a man who truly loves God, he will try his best to love you and over time, he will get better at it! Submission is good because following God’s principles brings about blessings and protection.

Here are some questions to ask yourself about the man you’re interested in:

• Is God’s character evident in his life?
• Does his conduct show love & humility?
• Does he have a mutually submissive attitude? 
• Does he love God and hate sin?

6. Submission has wise boundaries.

Submission never means submitting to sin or abuse. When you encounter a man who believes submission means you must disobey God in order to obey him, that is not biblical. His aim is to manipulate you for his own selfish gain. God is the Higher Power. Your first submission is always to God.

If your future husband commands something that is against the word of God—such as lying, abusive behavior, or immorality—you must choose to submit to God instead. Whatever you choose to submit to, it should line up with the Word of God and the character of God.

Before marriage, here are some warning signs:

• He’s okay with you lying about the relationship.
• He sees nothing wrong with being sexually active before marriage.
• He has become physically abusive to you. Healthy boundaries are protection. As you grow in health and healing in your walk with God, you will learn to set and protect proper boundaries with everyone—your boss, co-workers, and even your future husband. When you are a healthy person, people are less likely to take advantage of you.

7. Submission begins with submitting to God.

If you are a strong, executive-type of woman, becoming comfortable with submission starts at the very top, that is, surrender to God. The first battle is choosing to surrender your life to the Lordship of Christ and submitting to His word, His ways, and His will.

This is rooted in trusting that God is sovereign, in control, and wants the best for you. When you know God is for you, who can truly be against you?

Summary

Submission is not a weakness. It is an act of wisdom and faith, a choice that follows the model of Jesus Christ. Choose a man who is for God, so that he can be for you.

To recap,

Here are the key truths about happily submitting to your future husband, as explored in the Word and lived out in my personal experience:

1. Submission is not inferiority.
2. Submission is voluntary.
3. Submission is about divine order evident throughout life.
4. Mutual submission is biblical.
5. Submission is much easier if you choose a godly husband.
6. Submission has wise boundaries.
7. Submission begins with submitting to God.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

5 Proven Steps to Get Your Busy Life Under Control

Top 5 Attractive Qualities Single Men Want

5 Qualities that Attract a Man to a Woman

Recommended Books:

“The Fascinating Girl”  by Helen Andelin

“Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” by Emerson Eggerichs

“Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):

Amazon Kindle Paperwhite

The post Why Submission Is Not a Dirty Word appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Which one describes your situation?

• You’re now a top leader of a reputable organization or in the political sphere.
• You are well known in your field of study/work and you have extensive experience and academic qualifications to support it.
• You’re now a very influential leader.
• Your video went viral and you’ve become an overnight success.
• You have thousands of followers on IG and brands are seeking you out.
• You’ve blossomed into all the “right” places and are constantly admired and flattered by many.
• Your income is more than you have ever dreamed it will be.

Money, power, influence, knowledge & beauty can be sources of blessings as well as they can lead to the demise of many Christians. We can subtly place our significance in them rather than in Christ. When the focus changes, we also change.

“For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” – 1 John 2:16-17

These are some changes that might occur if you are not careful:

• When you are around people who do not know who you are, you feel a need to enlighten them.
• You get upset if someone leaves out your title when he/she is addressing you.
• You expect your family, friends and acquaintances to treat you with greater respect and honour.
• Your advice should always be sought after and taken seriously. If that is not the case, you’re not a happy camper.
• You begin to dress more seductively and immodestly. Your sex appeal must be shown to the world through social media. You crave comments like “you’re so hot”, “sexy”, “you’re on fire” and the like.
• Slowly, you gravitate toward people who will support your new mindset and spend less time with people who will oppose the “new and improved” you.
• You brag about every achievement because deep within you, you are looking for approval and applause from those around you, especially the naysayers because you proved them wrong.

When I reflect on my own life, I can see that becoming a missionary straight out of college was a safeguard for me. God was protecting me from ME! He was setting my foundation to stay grounded in the future. Honestly, if God had left me to follow my own path, I would have been a very different person today – materialistic, manipulative, egotistic, vain, proud, etc.

As my popularity and influence grows as a blogger & vlogger, what am I doing to keep myself grounded? Perhaps these tips will help you as well.

Here are 6 tips to keep you grounded when you are rising:

1. It’s not about you.

You and I have only one main purpose and that purpose is centered in Christ. You are simply a servant of Christ trying to faithfully accomplish all the good works that God has assigned to you before you were even born. As such, all you do should point people to the Lord of your life, Jesus Christ.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. – Ephesians 2:10

My guardrail: I remind myself that my main goal is to help people to follow Christ wholeheartedly. It’s not about me.

2. Put God first continually.

As the demands for your time and expertise increase, it is very tempting to replace your time with the Lord with activity. With consistent neglect over time, you will begin to change and make subtle compromises that are contrary to your faith in Jesus.

Conversely, if you were to make your special time with God a priority, He will guide your steps; He will keep you sane when the public attacks come; He will give you wisdom beyond your experience, knowledge or skill to handle difficult and stressful circumstances; you will stay focus on God’s purpose and not get derailed by your own vanity; and so much more.

My guardrail: I will meet with God and be grounded in the His Word every day.

3. Surround yourself with mature Christian friends who are not star-struck.

You need people in your life who are both spiritually-grounded and sober in their thinking. Friends and relatives who are simply opportunists are not the best persons to be your advisors. Their advice may be warped and crafted to just please you (or themselves), and not necessarily to honor God.

Ideally, you want people who will pray for you; give you sound advice; and tell you the truth regardless of your popularity, stock portfolio or academic qualifications. If your closest advisors are foolish people (like the peers of King Solomon’s son King Rehoboam), your demise is imminent. Read 1 Kings 12.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20

My guardrail: I will keep myself surrounded by mature Christian friends who will always be honest with me and give me constructive feedback.

4. Resist flattery and emotional entanglements with the wrong men.

For the single woman, all of a sudden, you may get attention from more men (single and married) who will attempt to full your head with flattery. Nothing is wrong with a man giving a woman sincere compliments, but do not be deceived and become emotionally entangled by a man who will not be good for you. Non-Christian men and “shoddy” Christian men may begin to pursue you.

Some of them are extremely determined even after repeated rejection. But remember, my sister, you are trusting God for a genuine Christian husband who is becoming more Christlike. Therefore, don’t allow your heart to be tied up.

My guardrail: I will not naively or secretly build a relationship with another man. Emotional adultery is where it starts. Also, I will inform my husband when I believe a man is trying to pursue me.

5. Prioritize family and close friendships.

This life is very short and we were made for relationships. Do you find yourself neglecting your key relationships because the demand for your business, ministry, or public portfolio has become intense? The truth be told … many of us actually love the adrenaline and the sense of significance that we feel from our success. However, neglecting your most important relationships is damaging to you and to them.

Some questions to consider:

• Are you mentally and emotionally present when your family or friends are talking with you? Or are you constantly paying more attention to what’s happening on your phone or other device?
• Have you been too busy to attend family gatherings?
• Do your close family members often complain that you’re too busy and you have no time for them?
• Are you so focused on being efficient and productive that you miss opportunities to have meaning heart-to-heart connections with your family?

My guardrail: I will attend to my marriage and my family above “Petals Bloom”.

6. Choose humility.

In order to stay grounded, you must choose humility every day. You have to keep at the forefront of your mind that all your accomplishments, skills, influence, knowledge and beauty comes from God. A woman with a proud heart will seek applause for herself instead of using the aforementioned blessings to glorify Him and mankind.

In essence, pride seeks to draw attention to yourself and put you on a pedestal to be admired by as many people as possible. It certainly feels good because it feeds our flesh! For each person, conceited pride rears its ugly head in different ways.

A few subtle evidences of pride:

• You get offended when you are not addressed by your title.
• You have to show-off your wealth, your body, your beauty, your accomplishments and the like so that everyone will be impressed and desire to be you, look like you or achieve what you have.
• When someone does not know who you are, you scorn their ignorance.

Your boasting should be in God and not in yourself.

My guardrail: How I dress, what I say and what I post on social media must show viewers, Christians and non-Christians, that I am loyal to the Kingdom of God. I will not dress immodestly to get more likes or comments to fan my vanity.

To recap, here are 6 tips to keep you grounded when you are rising:

1. It’s not about you.
2. Put God first continually.
3. Surround yourself with mature Christian friends who are not star-struck.
4. Resist flattery and emotional entanglements with the wrong men.
5. Prioritize family and close friends.
6. Choose humility.

Summary

What guardrails have you put in place to protect yourself and the name of Christ as you gain more wealth, expertise, power, fame or influence? What has helped you to stay grounded? Comment below. I look forward to hearing from you so that I can learn from you.

#madeforlove

Thanks for dropping by!

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

Doing This Changed My Life

The One Thing That All Successful People Have in Common 

6 Signs That He’s Not Really Into You

Recommended Books:

“Think, Learn, Succeed: Understanding and Using Your Mind to Thrive at School, the Workplace and Life” by Dr. Caroline Leaf

Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald

Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes Remarkable Results by James Clear

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):

The post How to Stay Grounded When You Are Rising appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Here are 10 epic reasons why Jesus is better than a husband:

1) You can always speak your mind to Jesus.

In a marriage, the ideal is that you would like to say what you want; when you want; and in whatever manner you wish at the time, especially when you are upset.  However, you are still on the earth and a husband is another human being whose feelings you must consider.  Therefore, you should try to speak the truth in love and be sensitive to the other person’s feelings.  

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29 ESV

With a relationship with Jesus, you can lay everything before Him.  In fact, you can release your pent-up emotions to Him.  He will not be offended.  Chances are, you will also feel much better and even get some clarification from Him.  

I am extremely grateful that He knows and understands everything.  You may be complicated, but Jesus can handle all your issues.

Get my list of Favourite Books for Single Christian Women!

2) Jesus can even read your mind.

Oftentimes, as a woman, you expect a man to interpret your frowns, silence, smiles and any other emotion.  When a man is unable to take the hints, you may wonder why he is not understanding you.  

On the other hand, Jesus is well acquainted with your thoughts.  Oftentimes, I have had experiences when God answered a desire that was a mere thought.  I didn’t even reach the point of voicing it in prayer! That is how awesome Jesus is.  

“Knowing their thoughts, he said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand.” Matthew 12:25 ESV

3) He can handle all your emotional ups and downs.

It is commonly held that women are moody.  I don’t think that describes me (in my humble opinion), but I can be upset, angry or in a foul mood from time to time:)  Jesus has the emotional strength and wisdom to deal with all of our ups and downs.  Conversely, a husband might have challenges adjusting and dealing with those emotions.  Jesus is clearly better than a husband.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16 ESV

4) Jesus has no bad moods.

Men can become depressed if their lives, career, relationships, finances and health do not match up to their dreams and expectations.  They may react by verbally and physically lashing out; retreating behind video games and entertainment; and even absconding from their responsibilities.  

In contrast, Jesus is “cool like a cucumber.”  Nothing phases Him.  His treatment of you will always be one characterized by love and care.  You will never be a recipient of the effects of a bad mood, because He never has any!  If you receive any correction from Jesus, it’s all because of His great love toward you.  Jesus is better than a husband!

“And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” Hebrews 12:5-6 ESV

5) He can protect you like no other.

I’m a firm believer that we are mostly unaware of the many dangers from which God protects us daily.  Jesus has the power to protect us from dangers seen and unseen.  On the other hand, a man may try his best (and we are grateful), but he is limited because he’s only human.  

“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” 2 Thessalonians 3:3 ESV

6) Jesus will never be unfaithful.

Many Christian husbands may not commit physical adultery, but Jesus raised the standard for all mankind.  In Matthew 5:28, He said, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  

Since men are generally more visually stimulated than women, more “heart” adultery is taking place hourly and daily, just by scrolling through social media or by deceptive ads leading to porn sites.

In contrast, Jesus has no unfaithfulness in Him.  As a matter of fact, He’s forever faithful to you, even when you are unfaithful to Him.

“… if we are faithless, he remains faithful- for he cannot deny himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13 ESV

7) He will never lose his ability to provide.

A husband might lose his income and be unable to provide for his family.  On the other hand, Jesus does not operate on the world’s system.  He will always be able to provide for you, whether the world is in a recession or not.  

Even beyond providing our needs, He provides our wants as well.  A good husband may try his best, but Jesus is definitely better than him!  Since He is God, Jesus has an advantage for certain.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 ESV

8) Jesus will always be near you.

Many singles think that marriage is a cure for loneliness.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  If you’re lonely as a single woman, you’ll probably experience that same loneliness after marriage.  

In essence, a husband cannot completely fill your need for constant companionship because he cannot be with you 24/7 365 days a year.  Only Jesus can meet that expectation because He is omnipresent.  You see why Jesus is better than a husband?!?

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:15-17 ESV

9) Jesus will not die or leave you.

Jesus died once and then He conquered death.  He rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven.  Therefore, Jesus will never die again.  That’s great news!  You may marry a wonderful man, but he (and you) will someday die.  You may have all the best intentions, but this life is temporary for all of us.  

When you have Jesus, He will be with you now, when you die and forever in eternity.  Your relationship with Jesus will last much longer (eternity long) than your marriage.  Jesus is better than a husband!

“… for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5b

“So then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken to them, was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God.” Mark 16:19 ESV

10) No unrealistic comparisons with other women.

Whether a husband makes it known or unknown to his wife, he will constantly be comparing her to the awesome cooking of his mother; his former girlfriend; past sexual experiences (whether real or fantasy) and the list goes on.  It’s simply human nature.  

While Jesus knows everything about you (your heart, your past, your thoughts, your failures and triumphs), He loves you just the way you are.  With a husband, it’s a work in progress. Jesus’ love is exceptional and you can feel totally comfortable knowing that He accepts you as you are.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.” John 15:9 ESV

Related Articles

5 Compelling Reasons Why Singleness is Beautiful 

Single and Disappointed-5 Helpful Tips to Deal With it

Suppose You Never Get Married … 10 Ways to Deal With It

Summary

Have you ever struggled with feelings that you’re better off being married?  I’ve been married for a little over a year and I feel very blessed because my husband is amazing.  However, a husband can never be a substitute for Jesus. He will always fall short of Jesus’ caliber.  Undoubtedly, Jesus is exceptional and no man on earth can compare with Him. A loving husband is good, but a vibrant relationship with Jesus will always be better!

In what ways do you see Jesus being better than a husband?  Have you begun to believe that marriage is the cure for all?  Please comment below and share your views and insights about this topic.  

I am aware that some of you might be struggling at this time.  Please reach out to me if you need someone to pray with you. I’ve brainstormed a list of “My Favourite Books for Single Christian Women” that have helped me to develop in every area of my life and have made it available for you. 

When you subscribe, you will get this list on incredible books in your Inbox. You’ll also receive my weekly tips to help you to become that awesome woman that’s already in you. Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

Like, share & subscribe!

Love,

Kimberly Garth 

The post Why Jesus is Better Than a Husband | 10 Epic Reasons appeared first on Petals Bloom.

You’re in a relationship with the man of your dreams.  As you become closer, you want to express your desire for each other physically. The intensity of your passion is getting greater and you don’t know if you have the patience, resolve and strength to wait until marriage. Is sexual purity even possible? If you’re undecided regarding the benefits of waiting, please check out ‘6 Reasons Why Virginity is STILL Wonderful’.

Your passion is quite natural. We are sexual beings and God created sex to be enjoyed thoroughly by a husband and wife.  However, engaging in premarital sex will only reduce the pleasure and corrupt the beautiful gift that it is. Here are 7 tips that may help you to win at sexual purity:

1) Love God at any cost.

According to Josh McDowell’s ‘Bare Facts: 39 Questions Your Parents Hope That You Never Ask About Sex’, ‘purity is a commitment to live according to God’s design.’ Inherent in His original design is a mandate to refrain from sexual engagement before marriage in order to give yourself fully to your husband. Ladies, we have a choice to make. Are we going to lovingly obey God or are we going to choose our own way? The truth is that loving God has a cost. Are you willing to trust His heart toward You and obey Him?

2) Value yourself .

Whether you have a low, high or no self-esteem, the fact remains that you are considerably valuable to God. Don’t allow any man to tell you otherwise. However, the way a man treats you depends on you for the most part.  There’s a saying, ‘monkeys know which tree to climb.’ Have you noticed that a person will treat one person with utmost respect and another with disdain? It all boils down to respect. If a man is pressuring you for sex and he knows that premarital sex is contrary to your beliefs, then he doesn’t respect you or your God.

You want your boyfriend to adore and respect you. Check out the article ‘6 Guys to Resist’. Your interactions with him, your choices and your views will determine what he thinks of you and how he will treat you. Only you can embrace your value and effectively communicate your value to others by the life that you live. If you say one thing, and then do the opposite, no one will take you seriously.

3) Determine your convictions.

A conviction is a firmly held belief. Compromise is not an option. No one admires a weak wishy-washy person. We respect persons with strong convictions, whether we agree or not. My personal conviction was that I would not engage in any form of sexual activity before marriage (including kissing).

For me, this was not an easy conviction to embrace initially. During my teenage years, I would fantasize continually about kissing and sexual encounters. However, I had always valued my virginity and held firmly to wait until marriage for sex. Up to that point, only penetration was an absolute ‘no’. It was at college, I adopted the view of saving my kisses only for my husband. I recently got married and my first kiss was actually when I said ‘I do’ at the altar. It was definitely special!

4) Communicate your convictions.

Men cannot read minds. From the early stages in a budding relationship, you need to let your love interest know your convictions. It’s only fair that he knows them beforehand. He could have one of three reactions:

1) He expresses that he has the same convictions. At this point, you’ll do a little jig.

2) He disagrees, but is willing to be open and explore what the Bible says about sexual purity. Don’t run from him. He might be a keeper.

3) He disagrees and tries to dissuade you. He even makes fun of you. Don’t  waste your time. Exit as soon as possible.

My husband did not agree with my ‘kissing’ view initially, but he was willing to hear my views and to respect my opinions. He was definitely a keeper!

You can’t come up with boundaries in the heat of the moment. Boundaries must be decided and communicated before anything happens.  They determine what you will do and what you will not do. When my husband and I were courting, he expressed to me that it is his practice to avoid being in a house alone with his girlfriend. My pastor would leave his office opened whenever he met with a female.

5) Establish your boundaries.

Some persons may see these decisions as ludicrous and going overboard, but we need to remember two things:

1) We’re not super-humans. Many times, we need to put boundaries in place to protect ourselves. Romans 13:14 says, ‘but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.’

2) We need to protect our Christian witness. We no longer live for ourselves as Christians, but we live for God before a watching world. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, ‘abstain from all appearance of evil.’

We would have less scandals in the church if we were to place wise boundaries in our lives.

Some suggestions:

• Refuse to be in a bedroom alone together.
• Refrain from being in a house alone for a prolonged period of time.
• Have dates in public spaces.
• Set a high standard for what you will do and not do as a couple.
• Choose friends who will hold you both accountable.
• Do not stay in the car alone for too long.

6) Guard your eyes and mind.

You will find that your fight to remain sexually pure will be weakened when your choice of entertainment stimulates your sexual appetite. When I was a teenager, I consumed many books that were sexually explicit. I naively thought that they were harmless. After all, I wasn’t engaging in any direct sexual activity with a man. However, those images make it very difficult to have clean thoughts. They can lead to sexual addictions like pornography and masturbation and a life preoccupied with sexual fantasies.

Be very careful of the types of movies, books, songs and videos that entertains you. As the saying goes, ‘garbage in, garbage out.’ The good news is that the Holy Spirit can help us to overcome, but it is oftentimes a long challenging journey for many. Additionally, please stay away from sexting or any communication that awakens your sexual desires. Contrary to popular belief, all these indulgences are anything but harmless. When you do get married, you’ll be met with a lot of disappointment because the movies and romance novels are just fantasies and not real life. The sooner you overcome, the better chance of having a healthy sex life and happy marriage.

7) Join a community with similar views.

It’s not easy to chose sexual purity in the times that we live. That’s why you need the strength of a community that embraces and supports sexual purity. It’s difficult to do it alone. Find a community of friends who will support you in your journey. There are still many who have not bowed to the lies and pressures of society.

I What have been your experiences? What tips do you have as well? What lessons have you learnt along the way?  I’d love you hear from you. Please comment below. Subscribe and get your free ‘Know Yourself’ questionnaire, along with weekly short and sweet email tips from me.

With love,

Kimberly

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You just saw on social media that another one of your friends is getting married. Last week, you went to your younger cousin’s wedding.

Then you begin to think, ”Is something wrong with me?.”  You look in the mirror and you see an attractive, intelligent woman with an incredible sense of humor.  

Moreover, you’re a woman who loves God and is seeking to pursue him with all your being. But yet, you believe that God has withheld this one thing that you’ve longed for since you were a little bitty girl … a husband and a family.  Why Lord, why? And why me?

I have felt this way too.  There are no easy answers. Regardless of our unmet desires, God will always be loving, wise and good. In my own journey as a single woman, I’ve discovered why it can be beautiful.

Here are five compelling reasons why singleness is beautiful:

1) FOCUS.

Purpose

You can focus fully on your purpose without distractions.  From what I hear and observe from married couples, a wife’s focus moves toward her family.  Right now, your focus is primarily on “you”.

God

You can have uninterrupted time with God.  You can start praying from as early as 4am and no one may be inconvenienced by lights, praying out loud, singing, walking around or however you choose to spend this time.

Dreams

You can have focus on life-long dreams.  At times, a spouse may have to relinquish (partially, fully or temporarily) some dreams that may negatively affect the marriage.  Far too many persons run after their dreams to the detriment of their family life.

Self-development

You have to time to work on yourself.  I absolutely love to learn! Being single, you certainly have more time for self-development and hobbies.  You can study and pursue degrees and courses to your heart’s delight.

2) FREEDOM.

Easy to relocate

You have the freedom to live in another country for work, study.  You can simply decide to leave your job or take up a foreign assignment.  No discussion, no questions asked… buy your ticket, have a farewell party, pack your bags and fly out!  Living in another country for an extended time is something that I would recommend to all singles. I lived in Jamaica for over three years and it was fantastic!  The experience changes you for the better.

Less stress

The movies don’t tell you this, but successful enjoyable marriages require a lot of hard work.  I’ve heard it said that the number one enemy of a good marriage is selfishness. As a single, life is a piece of cake in comparison.  You can have a peaceful home with no arguments if you live alone. You kick off your shoes, eat some dinner and take it easy. You don’t have to participate in the hobbies of your spouse.  You don’t have to be concerned with pleasing your spouse by how you look. You can cook your food the way you like it.

More for you

You can have the entire bed to yourself.  You can sprawl your little or voluptuous body across the entire bed if you so choose.  As a matter of fact, if you’re small like me, just buy a small bed and save yourself some money! lol

Hobbies

You can indulge in your hobbies as much as you want.  If you love to read (like me), you can spend whole days reading and not be bothered by anyone. The sky’s the limit!  You can travel the world with little complications.

3) FLEXIBILITY.

Work

You can work overtime without guilt.  Single career women often find themselves working late.  (not that I’m suggesting this practice, but I am simply stating reality).  If you work a lot from home like me, you can find yourself working very long days late into the night.  Whenever you feel like stopping, then you stop. If you’re married and you wish to be happily married, you need to have a cut off time to give attention to the needs of your family.

Decision-making

You don’t have to discuss your plans with a spouse.  If you want to socialize with your colleagues after work, you simply do that.  You can spend visit friends and family for prolonged periods. You can go anywhere you want to.  No questions asked.

4) FEWER OBLIGATIONS

Sex

You don’t have to meet anyone’s sexual needs.  As a single Christian woman who embraces sexual purity, you wouldn’t have to be available for sex since you have no husband.

Less ‘mandatory’ chores

You don’t have to cook if you’re not in the mood.  There is no spouse or children to think about. Even cleaning is optional but I wouldn’t recommend that:)  I prefer a clean orderly home.

Money

You can spend money or save or invest your money as you see fit.  You can splurge on your favorite gadgets or clothes or be a miser.  You can cook smaller portions and save money. Also, your food might last longer!  

5) FRIENDSHIPS & FAMILY

Build strong friendships

You have more time to focus on friendships.  Cultivating strong friendships take time. My closest friends are married so it was easier for me to spend the night by them.  

Babysitting

I’ve spent countless days nights babysitting friends’ children.  If I were married, I do believe that would not have been possible.  You can spend more time with nephews and nieces. From my biased judgement and observation, we single ladies make the best aunties!  Why? Because we have time, energy and probably money to indulge the children…play games, cook, bake, take them out, etc.

Elderly

A lot of single women are the ones who take care of their elderly parents.  I have three older single second female cousins and they are the ones who care for my three great aunts.

“One great temptation of singleness is an unrelenting self-focus. We need to be reminded to look outside of our circumstances and ourselves.”  by Carolyn McCulley

Related articles:

Summary

Let’s be real.  Marriage is awesome but being single also has its advantages.  Life is simply less complicated. It affords focus, freedom, flexibility with fewer obligations and the greater opportunities to invest in family and friends.  

What are your reasons for being thankful as single Christian woman?  I’d love to hear your comments! Don’t forget to subscribe!:) You will also receive a FREE Know Yourself Questionnaire as an added bonus.

Bloom where you are planted!!! Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

Like, share & subscribe!

With love,

Kimberly Garth

Recommended Books:

“Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye” by Carolyn Culley

“Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman” by Anne Ortlund

“Let Me be a Woman” by Elisabeth Elliot

“Strong Women Soft Hearts” by Paula Rhinehart

“Singled Out for Him” by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

The post 5 Compelling Reasons Why Singleness is Beautiful appeared first on Petals Bloom.