Among the many qualities you want in a godly husband, are there some qualities he must definitely have?

You observe that there are many broken Christian marriages. As a result, it is very daunting but you’re hoping that your story will be different.

You dream of an enjoyable lasting marriage when you exchange your wedding vows. As such, your husband wish list is quite extensive (I had 25 criteria on my list!), but you need to separate the essentials from the ‘icing-on-the-cake’ non-essentials.

What are the deal breakers? Even if he isn’t drop-dead gorgeous with a well-toned physique, are there some qualities that are essential in a godly husband?

The label “Christian” is not enough.

It’s insufficient to think that if a man says that he’s a Christian that he’ll make a good husband. In my younger naive years, I thought just that.

However, a man could sincerely know and love God, but still make a poor husband. He could be lazy when it comes to his relationship with God. Therefore, he remains stagnant.

Or perhaps, he refuses to grow in crucial areas that would make him a better man. Growing takes discipline, diligence, grit to go through difficult processes and a willingness to change.

Oftentimes, God presents opportunities for growth that are not easy. If a godly man prefers the path of comfort, then the outcome will be zero or minimal growth.

Please do not confuse gifting with maturity. Just because a man is a gifted preacher, singer or teacher, it does not mean that he’s mature in his faith or growing in character. Check out ‘6 Guys to Resist’.

Here are some essential qualities to seriously consider when choosing a godly husband:

1) Teachable.

You need a man who is humble and open to learning from others. The evidence of this is that there are other men in his life who hold him accountable and help him walk the ‘straight and narrow’ path.

A man will not always be open to hearing correction from you, so it’s important that he has good genuine ‘brothers’ who do that for him. He has to be intentional about it and take responsibility to nurture these relationships with other men.

I’ve observed that when godly men get together, great things happen in their lives. Proverbs 27:17 says, ‘as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.’

It’s not easy being a godly husband (or man) these days, so he needs the community of sound godly brothers to stand strong. If he places himself under the mentorship of more mature men, than I’ll say that he’s a very wise man.

Don’t discount the power of male relationships. It can enhance your own future marriage.

If he’s comfortable only around women, pray that God will help him to be open and willing to have biblically-grounded men in his life. I firmly believe that a man learns how to be a real man by being around other strong godly men.

Women mentors can never replace the male mentorship that men need, especially in light of the high absenteeism of good fathers.

Questions to ponder:

• Is he a man open to learning from others?
• What are his reactions when he is corrected?
• Does he have accountability relationships with other men?
• Is he hard-headed (stubborn)?
• Are his closest friends foolish men or wise men? ‘Birds of a feather flock together.’

2) Emotional Stability.

Marriage can be rough at times. Your future husband needs to be stable and balanced to handle the ups and downs of life while leading his family.

This quality has little to do with physical health but rather emotional health. Although a person may have physical limitations, he may still be very capable of leading his family with strength and honour in the face of adversity.

Undoubtedly, leading a family is a huge responsibility for a godly husband, so you need someone who would be able to handle it well. Of course, as a wise woman, you have a great part to play in supporting him by your words, actions and prayers. A great resource is ‘The Power of a Praying Wife’ by Stormie Omartian.

Questions to ponder:

• How does he handle stress at work?
• How does he handle conflict in his current relationships?
• Does he have a trail of broken relationships among his family and friends?
• How does he respond when life throws a curveball at him?

3) Hard-working.

A hard-working man is worthy of admiration and respect. If the man is not hard-working, you’ll have major problems.

Imagine being married to a man who spends most of his waking hours playing video games, watching YouTube videos and chatting on social media (and earns no income from it).

You might want to pull out all your hair! Indeed, that’s a very frightful thought. If you choose to marry a lazy man, you’ll end up managing and providing for the entire home by yourself.

Your respect for him will die a slow but certain death and that will not be good for your marriage or your sexual intimacy. Therefore, you need a godly husband who will be responsible to take care of his family.

‘A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.’ Proverbs 10:3

Questions to ponder:

• Does he spend most of his time in idleness?
• As an adult man, does he depend on his parents/guardians/government to fully support him?
• Is he a dreamer but makes no effort to pursue those dreams by working hard toward them?
• Does he blame others for his ‘unfortunate’ lot in life?

4) Treats women with honour and respect.

I’ve heard it said that you’ll know how a man will treat you by the way he treats his mother. Hence, you want to observe if he has a healthy relationship with his mother.

Does he care for her? Is he kind toward her? Does he treat her like a lady? Is he gentle with her?

Additionally, the way he speaks of and treats other women is a good indication if he will honour and respect you.

Questions to ponder:

• How does he speak to his mother?
• In what way does he care for his mother and sisters?
• How does he speak about women in general?
• What can you observe about his treatment of women who are unrelated to him?

On the contrary, you don’t want the opposite extreme where your godly husband idolizes his mother. If that’s the case, then your future mother-in-law might be running (and ruining) your marriage.

5) Ability to lead.

Marriages simply work better when the man embraces the role as the head of the family. I’ve had leadership roles since my teenage years. However, it’s simply wonderful to have someone to lead our family and that person is not me!

I will gladly be the supportive wife.

There are areas under which you’ll give leadership, but ultimately, you need a husband who will embrace the main leadership role as the head of the family and not abscond from it.

A recommended resource is ‘Rocking the Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage’ by Robert Lewis.

Questions to ponder:

• Does he shy away from responsibility?
• Who leads his life? Is it him or does he leave that to his parents/guardians?
• Does he still behave like a child and not like a grown man?

Summary

You will not find a man who is perfect and you’re not perfect either. But you need someone who is willing to grow in these areas- teachability, emotional stability, hard-working, his treatment of women and his ability to lead.

Don’t worry. There still exists single Christian men who are willing to not only hear the Word, but to also live it out, even when it feels uncomfortable.

That’s the kind of godly husband you want. May God make you the kind of woman who will be a blessing to that type of man.

To recap, here are some essential qualities to seriously consider when choosing a godly husband:

1. Teachable
2. Emotional Stability
3. Hard-working
4. Treats women with honour and respect
5. Ability to lead

I’d would love to hear your feedback. What are some deal breakers to you? Comment below! Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

Top 5 Attractive Qualities Single Men Want

5 Guys to Consider as Future Husbands 

Recommended Books:

‘The Power of a Praying Wife’ by Stormie Omartian

‘The Power of a Praying Woman’ by Stormie Omartian

‘Rocking the Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage’ by Robert Lewis

The post 5 Essential Qualities in a Godly Husband appeared first on Petals Bloom.

Could it be possible that your future husband is already in your life? Are you destroying your love life by having too many restrictions? You probably know several gentlemen who might make terrific husbands for you. That’s good news because you only need one!

As I wrote in the post ‘5 Truths About Why You’re Still Single’, I shared with you how I elevated my profession above all others. I felt that any man with a different profession was not even worthy of my consideration. In plain truth, I was not open. This close-mindedness was probably the biggest reason why I stayed single for so long.

Here are 5 guys to consider as future husbands:

1) The ‘Regular Church’ Guy

When I was growing up, anything church-related was equated to boring, especially the men. I pictured myself with a ‘bad boy’… a man who was rough, exciting, dangerous, mysterious, courageous and who had the world of experience, particularly in the sexual area.

Thank God that I didn’t marry younger until good sense prevailed! I think we can safely blame the media for characterizing ‘the bad guy’ as the most appealing guy.  But I assure you, that’s only in the movies.  

Real-life bad guys may leave you pregnant and alone; suffering from heart break because of abuse and neglect; and struggling with constant feelings of insecurity because you know he’s a player. I didn’t even mention sexual transmitted diseases. Is that the life you dreamed of as a little girl?

You want a happy stable home environment, so leave the drama for the movies. I know you don’t want a boring guy either. I personally like men who can lead; who have courage; who can take some risks; who are adventurous; and who can challenge me. Let’s not confuse true masculinity with a man who makes continually poor choices. In

“Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Why not consider the wholesome healthy guy who goes to church?  I am quite aware that there are church-going men who have all the religious talk but no depth of character. Stay away from those! Need help knowing if he’s worth your time, get my 7 Tips to Get to Know a Guy Better! 

You need someone who is intentionally growing in his relationship with God and the evidence of this is reflected in his conduct. Also, ask other persons about him. If he has a good testimony with others, then he’s a guy that you should consider as husband-material.

2) The ‘Less-Educated’ Guy

I know that some women may not even consider a man who has less formal education that herself. Attending a university does not define a person’s intelligence.  Undoubtedly, you want someone with whom you can have an intelligent conversation.

You may already know that some of the most successful persons in the world dropped out of college like Steve Jobs (Apple & Pixar), Bill Gates (Microsoft) and Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook). Therefore, you don’t need to ‘ex-out’ men who have not gone through the formal education system.

If you need to figure him out, get my 7 Tips to Get to Know a Guy Better plus access to my resource library (while it is free).

3) The ‘Not-Ideal-Career’ guy

It sounds good to say that my boyfriend or fiancé or husband is a doctor, attorney, professor, engineer, CEO and other affluent-sounding careers. However, a person’s actual occupation has very little bearing on the success of a marriage. Is your security and significance based on the occupation of the man who is beside you?

On the contrary, you need a husband who is hard-working; who loves you; who will make time for you and the children; who is growing to love God more; and putting first the building of God’s kingdom.

There are many good men out there who fit that description without the glamorous ‘titles’. Let your values be based on God’s Word and not on society.  We need to focus more on character than occupation. You’re marrying him and not his job. Fantastic future husbands can be found among every honest profession.

4) The ‘Earns-Less-Than-Me’ guy

How many houses can you live in at the same time? Why do we need a gigantic house and when we get old, we have to downsize because it’s just too much work to maintain? How much lobster can one eat?

Notwithstanding, money is very important so I would strongly recommend that you choose a man who has a legitimate income. However, you don’t need to be with a rich man in order to live comfortably.

If you already earn a decent salary, he’s not less of a man if he earns less than you. Some careers simply earn more money than others. You have to look at the depth of his character.  Hard-working disciplined men would make dependable future husbands!

These are some questions to ask:

• Is he a saver?
• Is he a spender?
• Does he know how to invest?
• Does he live above his means?

With some wise financial decisions, you both can secure a sound financial future. There are many people who earn very sizable salaries, but they are always broke because they spend more than they earn.  Hence, choose a financially wise man and not necessarily a man who just earns more than you.

5) The ‘Friend-Zone’ guy

This guy is your friend and you get along very well. However, you just can’t see yourself marrying him. The popular saying ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ can be aptly applied.   You want someone ‘new’ and ‘fresh’.

However, after the honeymoon phase of a relationship, you actually need a best friend. You need someone that you trust who has similar views and values; who is loyal to you; whom you enjoy; and who loves you unconditionally.  If this guy fits that profile, why not consider him as a potential husband? Don’t let the unrealistic views of Hollywood spoil a good thing. Otherwise, some other woman with eyes to see will come and swoop him up!

Close male friends might make good future husbands!

BONUS (Other Future Husbands)

You can also consider a man who is younger or older than you are. You need to know what you’re comfortable with, but I have not seen any age restrictions in the Bible. Depending on the age difference, you would have some challenges related to the age gap, so be sober in your decision-making. However, with communication, understanding and flexibility, it can become a great marriage.

Summary

Look around you with a “fresh” eyes and you just might be several great future husbands!

The world culture has impacted all of us. Our decisions on relationships has been influenced more by the world than the Word of God.  No wonder that so many Christian marriages are in trouble! You need to make a very sober decision about the man you will agree to marry.  

When next you review your husband list, measure it against the principles of God’s Word and the character of God. He will not lead you astray. If God hasn’t put a restriction, then be more open! Behind every successful man is a strong, wise, supportive woman. You can be that sort of woman.

What are your views? Is there any guy in your life that you’d like to reconsider? I would love to hear your opinions so please leave a comment below.

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

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Recommended Books:

The Mark of A Man: Following Christ’s Example of Masculinity by Elisabeth Elliot

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul by John Eldridge

The New Eve: Choosing God’s Best for Your Life by Robert Lewis & Jeremy Royal Howard

Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

The post 5 Guys to Consider as Future Husbands appeared first on Petals Bloom.