Jackie and Alex have been in a committed relationship for four years. When they entered the relationship as college sweethearts, their minds and hearts were set on marrying each other … eventually. They’ve had ups and downs like most other romantic relationships, but Jackie is wondering if she is wasting her time with Alex. Is she missing the signs that the relationship is going nowhere?
My story
I never would have guessed that I would not have married my first boyfriend. We were so committed to Jesus and to each other. In the early years of the relationship, I sought signs from God.
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My prayers to God sounded like this …
“God, if he is the one for me, then give me a sign.”
My thoughts were similar to these …
“If X happens, then he’s the one God is directing me to marry.”
“If Y happens, then it’s a sign from God that he’s not the one for me.”
Since then, I’ve discovered that when you want something badly enough, more than likely, every sign confirms the direction you’re bent on going. Thankfully, I matured and discovered that God has a more reliable process to discover who I should consider marrying and who I should leave alone.
Eventually, I surrendered that relationship to God and it quickly unravelled.
Here are 6 revealing signs your relationship is going nowhere:
1) He is having doubts about you.
When it comes to love and relationships, most men know if they want to marry a woman or not after a relatively short amount of time of knowing her. It’s quite amazing actually! I have heard time and time again, ‘when a man is ready to get married, he will find a wife.” Of course, there are exceptions to this. However, that statement gives a clue to the decisive nature of most men when it comes to love and marriage.
Deep within, he knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want. When he finds a woman who he wants to marry, he will go through great lengths to pursue and win her heart. Therefore, if your boyfriend or fiance is giving an indication that he’s not sure he wants to be with you, you might consider moving on. Your relationship might be going nowhere.
2) He has moved you to the “friend-only” zone.
His treatment of you has changed considerably. Slowly, you have been moved from the “special-lady-in-my-life” zone to the “just-a-friend” zone. Through his actions and even his words, he subtly or blatantly communicates that he no longer has any interest in you. His calls have lessened; his compliments are sparse and dry for some time now; and he no longer makes sacrifices for you. All this has happened before a marriage has taken place. That’s a good indication that no marriage might ever take place. Again, your relationship is going nowhere.
3) He rarely spends quality time with you.
A man can naturally become busy with his job. However, he will certainly carve out time for a woman he is pursuing or courting. His end goal is to make you his own and prevent any other man from snatching you away from him. Therefore, in the midst of a busy season of his life, he will make the extra effort to talk with you. Days and weeks will not go by without making connection with the woman he loves. He’ll sacrifice sleep to get his dose of you. If you resort to guilt-tripping him to spend time with you, you might want to consider moving on.
4) He avoids talking about marriage or keeps delaying the wedding.
Two of you have stable incomes; you get along and others think you’re a match made in Heaven. But somehow, it is taking years for you to transition from boyfriend and girlfriend to husband and wife. You might even be further along in the process by being engaged. You discuss marriage and wedding plans to discuss, time and time again, years after year and that it’s just not the right time.
Before you know it, the years roll by and nothing happens. Perhaps, you may need to soberly look at the situation. He might sincerely care for you, but he may have lost interest in marrying you.
5) He hints that you’re not his ideal.
During a disagreement, he may hint that he doesn’t think you’re the one for him. Don’t ignore this sign. When the “dust has settled”, he may continue to stay in the relationship. You might excuse his insensitive comment, but it is probably a good indication that you are not his ideal. It is probably only a matter of time before he breaks up with you to pursue a woman who meets his ideal. Your relationship might be going nowhere.
6) He changes his mind repeatedly about you.
Sometimes he wants to be with you and at other times, he thinks that you both would be better off apart. You may not actually break up when his emotions swing from wanting you to rejecting you. However, it’s not healthy for you at all. As a woman, you need a stable relationship with a stable man. Sadly to say, your relationship is going nowhere.
Related articles:
4 No-Nonsense Reasons to Rethink A Long Courtship
14 Proven Tips for a Successful Long Distance Relationship
7 Must-Have Discussions Before You Commit Your Heart
Summary
I have wasted precious years, hoping and waiting that we would have eventually become husband and wife. Although I have learnt valuable lessons from the situation, I honestly would not want another woman to have the same fate as me. Although we remained virgins, I felt that I had lost my virginity in a strange sort of way. I lost my youthful years, missed opportunities, my trust in men was damaged and I could go on. Thankfully, God redeems:)
Should you seriously consider moving on from a relationship? Do you think that you are wasting time on your boyfriend or fiance? What are other signs a woman can acknowledge to move on from a relationship? Please comment below and share your thoughts and experiences with the Petals Bloom community. Thanks for stopping by!
#madeforlove
With love & laughter,
Kimberly Garth
