Have you ever met a guy and wondered why he is still single?
When you first met “Clifford”, you were surprised to learn that he is unmarried. He may not be the most handsome guy on the planet, but he’s decent looking. He has a stable job, so one would think that he has the means to take care of a family. Why is he still single? Most of his friends are already married with children. But yet, “Cliffy” remains single.
Christian women complain that there are not enough single eligible bachelors in the church. But yet, among us, there are a sprinkling of a few “good” men, like “Cliffy” who have remained unmarried. What could possibly be the reason when there are certainly more than enough women from which to choose?
I’m certain that there are many more reasons, but I will just list a few.
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Here are 8 possible reasons why he is still single.
1) His fear of rejection.
We, women, can be very brutal when communicating to a man in whom we’re not interested. In our current times, the prevailing culture is one of disrespect, ridicule and hostility toward men. We see men as masculine and strong with a tough heart that can handle harsh words.
However, they too have a heart that can suffer great hurt. After repeated brutal rejection by women, he becomes weary and even less willing to attempt a pursuit if he’s unsure of the woman’s interest in him. That’s why he is still single.
2) His broken heart.
If he has had a devastating breakup in the past, he may have resigned himself to remain single. It would probably take an act of God and/or very special woman to make him available to love again. If you meet a broken-hearted man, the best thing you can do for him is to pray for his restoration.
3) He’s awkward with women.
He can absolutely miss the boat which means that he can lose an opportunity to be with an amazing woman. His awkwardness prevents him from actively winning her heart. He gets anxious and tongue-tied when he plans to express his feelings.
Some men are really good at pursuing women because they’ve gotten a lot of practice. For the average guy, he hasn’t mastered the art of engaging an attractive woman in conversation. The old adage holds true, ‘Nothing ventured nothing gained.” He misses out on numerous opportunities because he prefers to safely stay in his comfort zone. So he remains single. Many a good man may lose the opportunity for a good woman because he was just too slow to act.
4) He’s a fraud.
This type of man wants a gem, but he is a swine. He’s the pretender in our midst.
A truly godly woman will want her equal, that is, a man who is also seeking after God; a man who is growing in integrity; and a man who is developing biblical convictions. In essence, she wants a man who is trying to live a life consistent with his beliefs in God.
This fraud has his heart set on a gem, but no right-thinking gem of a woman will truly be interested in him. Besides, why would God bring a good woman in his life when he’s not aligning himself with God? The women he wants doesn’t want him. So, he remains single.
5) His focus is on his career and not marriage.
This man is busy with his ambitious pursuits. He’s well aware that a relationship takes lots of time and money. Therefore, he doesn’t want to be distracted by a girlfriend, fiancé, or a family. His career goals are all that matters at this point in his life.
6) His sexual needs are being met.
Sex is important for 99% of men. If a godly man wants to meet his sexual desires in a god-honoring way, he’ll want to get married.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9
On the other hand, if his sexual needs are already being met and he’s not “burning with passion”, then there will be no “urgency” to get married.
A single Christian man’s sexual needs can be met:
- Through sexual content- pornography in all forms;
- By himself – masturbation;
- Through his girlfriend. We are all aware that sexual immorality exists among church-goers. Reminder: Two single people in a committed relationship are still considered single in God’s eyes.
7) He believes that he’s an eunuch.
Believe it or not, there are men who identify themselves as eunuchs. You might be thinking, “with so few Christian men and so many Christian women, why would a right-thinking man choose to become a eunuch?!?” Read what Jesus said below…
For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it. – Jesus (Matthew 19:12)
Three types of eunuchs:
- A born eunuch – a man born with physical disabilities or who has no desire to marry or to have sex;
- A eunuch made by men- a man who has been castrated; or
- A eunuch by personal choice – a man who forgoes marriage to focus on the kingdom of heaven;
Hence, being a eunuch is a legitimate reason why he might be single. Personally, I don’t know any eunuchs.
8) He’s searching for the perfect woman.
This man lives in a dream world. Intellectually, he knows that there’s no perfect woman, but he’s still searching for her. The idealist “Cliffy” will remain single because he will be constantly disappointed.
Summary
There are other possible reasons why a Christian eligible man will still be single. Among them are his fear of rejection; his inability to heal from a broken heart; his awkwardness with women; he’s a fraud; his focus is on his career; his sexual immorality; he’s a eunuch; and he’s searching for the perfect woman.
To recap, here are 8 possible reasons why he is still single.
- His fear of rejection;
- His broken heart;
- He’s awkward with women;
- He’s a fraud;
- His focus is on his career and not marriage;
- His sexual needs are being met;
- He believes that he’s an eunuch; or
- He’s searching for the perfect woman.
What are some other reasons why he is still single? I’m definitely looking forward to your opinions!:)
Thanks for stopping by!:)
#madeforlove
With love & laughter,
Kimberly Garth
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Recommended Books:
“Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul” by John Eldridge
You summed it up very nicely. To add to the focus on career, some men want to feel they are successful to a certain degree before getting married so they may not be only career oriented but the timing is not right for them as they want to get to a certain stage before contemplating marriage.
Yes, that’s a good point as well, Nikida! Thanks for adding to the “conversation “:)
I know all of these, including a eunuch believe it or not! Though he doesn’t use that term. He just calls himself asexual and has devoted his life to the study of God and the Word. Super interesting guy but yes, the ladies are all disappointed because he’s pretty good-looking guy and of course, his passion for God is very attractive.
Thanks, Candi! It would be interesting to learn more about his story and why he calls himself asexual.🤔
Most women nowadays look for men with a lot of money which makes them real gold diggers to begin with, since they will never go with an ordinary man at all. With so many women that have very high unrealistic outrageous expectations which is why most of these women will never go with us men at all, and that is why many of us men are still single today. A lot of so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists women everywhere nowadays more than ever before which makes it very difficult for many of us single men that really do want a relationship. And now that feminism is everywhere which has even made it much worse.
Thanks for your feedback, Gary. It is really a sad state of affairs. Gone are the days when a couple would get together, with little money, to build a life together. I personally know some good single men who would make great husbands. If you’re one of those “cream of the crop” single Christian men, I hope and pray that God would lead you to a woman who will base her decisions on your character, more than your money:).
You have to remember that with the very big change in the women nowadays compared to the old days when looks and wealth never mattered back then certainly has a lot to do with it unfortunately. Women really want and expect just too much now more than ever since it is all about me, me, and me, the way they’re acting today. Very different women today when back in the past which most women were very old fashioned and real ladies, and that made it much easier for the men in those days when they met their loved ones with no trouble at all either. Today many of us single men will even get Cursed at for no reason at all when we will try to start a conversation with a woman by just saying good morning or hello to them, and i know other single men that had the very same thing happened to them as well. A lot of very troubled women that really need to see a good shrink since they aren’t playing with a full deck at all to begin with. Gee Wiz, very obvious why so many of us men are still single today.
Hi Mike! I understand your points. In response to the abuses that women have suffered from men, we have gone to another extreme which is not good. I do agree with you that there are a lot of troubled women needing therapy. However, I personally know many single Christian women, very wholesome, who are unable to find a godly husband. We have a predicament on our hands! I got married later in life and my criteria had nothing to do with wealth. I preferred a mission-minded man. But it seems that character has taken a back seat and a wealthy man is more sought after which is sad to be honest with you. Gone are the days when a young married couple would decide to build wealth together.