For years, I felt that I was too skinny. I resorted to a plan of gaining one pound per month. That plan never worked. Whatever half a pound I gained for the whole year, whenever I got a virus, I would lose several pounds. Needless to say, I felt pretty unattractive in my less-than-100-pound body.
If you feel unattractive, you’re not alone! We all have insecurities, both men and women. However, to begin to truly value the woman that you are, you need truth in your inner being.
- Here are 9 tips to overcome when you feel unattractive:
- 1) Determine the root causes of your feelings of unattractiveness.
- 2) Cry out to God for His healing.
- 3) Search the Scriptures for the truth to counter the lies.
- 4) Take practical steps.
- 5) Prioritize becoming like Christ.
- 6) Evaluate what you can and cannot change.
- 7) Have a gratitude list.
- 8) Be patient with yourself.
- 9) Go on social media fast.
Here are 9 tips to overcome when you feel unattractive:
1) Determine the root causes of your feelings of unattractiveness.
Who/what has formed the mindset that you have about yourself? Who played a part in this framing? For me, my insecurities about my body stemmed from insults I received in my adolescence. I still remember one such incident and it was such a long time ago!
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If you have no clue, please ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it to you. I believe He will show you.
2) Cry out to God for His healing.
Perhaps, your feelings of unattractiveness have become so deep-seated that you need God’s supernatural intervention. You need Him to heal you deep within. He wants to do that for you. Just be totally vulnerable with God. He already knows your pain.
3) Search the Scriptures for the truth to counter the lies.
What does the Word of God say about beauty? What does God say about your worth?
One of my absolute favourite verses is …
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
Another is …
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
Are you embracing God’s truth about you?
I would further recommend that you research and write down all the verses about your self-worth according to the Word of God and read them aloud daily. Additionally, take one verse or a portion of Scripture per day and meditate (ponder or ruminate) until it moves from head-knowledge to heart-conviction.
When a woman truly knows Jesus, it changes her inwardly. Watch the power of God work in your mind as it is being renewed with the Word!
4) Take practical steps.
Besides the Word, the Lord is also very practical and He will instruct you to take good care of your body. Believe me, it saddens me that so many Christians have little self-control when it comes to proper diet and exercise.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:-
- Has the Lord been instructing you to exercise?
- Has He been guiding you to get more sleep?
- What has he been saying to you about your busy lifestyle?
- Does your diet have too much refined sugar?
- Have you been drinking sufficient water?
- When was the last time you enjoyed the outdoors?
- Do you need to see a dietician?
By being obedient to the Lord in these areas, you will begin to feel better about yourself. Of course, it will also change how you look – glowing skin, a spark in your eyes, better mood, more energy, etc.
According to research, the following activities release feel-good hormones:
- Exercising
- Cooking
- Listening to music or making music
- Going outside
- Laughter
- Meditating (on God’s Word)
- Playing with your pet
- Getting a good night’s rest
- Managing stress
- Pampering yourself (e.g. getting a massage)
5) Prioritize becoming like Christ.
Character growth is true lasting beauty!
I’ve come to realize that what makes a woman feel really attractive has little to do with her external appearance at the end of the day. I remember being at a conference and there was an interview with an elderly couple (both probably over 80). The husband was saying that his wife was more beautiful than when they first got married! He looked at her with such tenderness! So, my sister, sit at the “feet” of Jesus and learn of him. Allow Him to transform you inwardly.
6) Evaluate what you can and cannot change.
The Serenity Prayer:
“O God and Heavenly Father, grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.”
What you cannot (or should not) change:
- The colour of your skin (if you’re into bleaching, throw those damaging products out please!)
- Your height
- Your bone structure
What you can change:
- Your attitude
- Your self-care
- How you spend your time
- What you think on
7) Have a gratitude list.
Celebrate all God has blessed you with!
I may not have a perfect body, but I do have beautiful eyes and a lovely smile. Many years ago, I read about the hormones that are released when a person smiles. So guess what? I started smiling to myself in the mirror! 😂 You must try it!
My challenge to you …
Take a pen/pencil and a sheet of paper and write down all your “assets” in the following area:
- What you like about your body
- What you like about your personality
- What compliments you receive from others
- Which areas you have seen growth in the last few years
- What you are grateful for concerning your health
Write any and everything that comes to your mind.
Like me, I’m certain you have “flaws” that you wish you didn’t have, but it’s better to place your focus on the “assets” that you do possess.
8) Be patient with yourself.
Healing and growth to love and accept yourself will not take place overnight. The process may take years. You may feel like you’re back to “square one” at times, but overall, I’m sure you will experience growth in this area. So, be patient with the process.
9) Go on social media fast.
If you are prone to comparing yourself with the photoshopped & filtered “beauties” on your social media pages, then you may need to:
- Unfollow some of your celebrity influencers;
- Unfollow friends and acquaintances;
- Take a weekly break or even come off of social media for an extended period;
- Temporarily or permanently deactivate your accounts.
“And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.” Matthew 18:9 ESV
Although I’m not saying you’ll be going to hell for envying someone else’s beauty, at times, we have to be radical for our own mental health.
God has your back!
Summary
Do you feel unattractive? Do you know what has been the cause of it? If you have already overcome in this area, what tips have helped you to feel beautiful in your own skin? Please share in the comments.
To recap,
Here are 9 tips to overcome when you feel unattractive:
- Determine the root causes of your self-hatred or feelings of unattractiveness.
- Cry out to God for His healing.
- Search the Scriptures for the truth to counter the lies.
- Take practical steps.
- Prioritize becoming like Christ.
- Evaluate what you can and cannot change.
- Have a gratitude list.
- Be patient with yourself.
- Go on social media fast.
Thanks for stopping by!
#madeforlove
With love & laughter,
Kimberly Garth
Other Helpful Resources:
10 Signs a Guy is Romantically Interested in You
5 Qualities that Attract a Man to a Woman
What to do When You Like a Guy
Disclosure
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Recommended Books:
Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty by Dannah Gresh
His Needs, Her Needs Participant’s Guide: Building an Affair-Proof Marriageby Willard F. Jr. Harley
