“Linda” has tried online dating, but she’s had no luck. In her last relationship with “Athelbert” 😂, he tried to manipulate her into having sex. So she dropped him like a hot potato. She never thought that finding a husband was going to be so difficult!

What is “Linda” to do?

A good suggestion for “Linda” is to involve her Christian community and family community in her quest for her husband. God has placed us within communities for love, support, accountability and growth. Additionally, your communities can serve as excellent catalysts for meeting your future husband.

Here are 5 ways your community helps you find your husband:-

1) Your future spouse is probably connected to your community.

Unless you meet him through an online dating site, most of you will meet your future spouse through your current circles of friends, family and work colleagues. Therefore, it will be wiser for you to be sociable and not stay within the comfortable “four walls” of your home. Step outside and mingle! I would even suggest being present at family gatherings because you never know when one of your family members will decide to invite a friend who might be just the kind of person for you.

​2) Your community can intentionally introduce you to an amazing guy.

I read in one of John Maxwell’s books that the average introvert influences at least 10,000 people during his/her lifetime. This fact means that everyone you know is acquainted with at least 10000 people. And remember, you only need one man to marry.

As such, swallow the humble pill and let a few trusted members of your Christian community (including family members) know that you’re open to them helping you to meet a godly man. With their eyes on the lookout, along with a general desire for your well–being, you’ll probably get a phone call or two from time to time to “set you up” with a prospective spouse. What have you got to lose? Go out and enjoy yourself!

However, for this to work, you must treat your community well and be progressively growing in godly character. If they think that you’re a stressful woman, they will not be looking for any spouse for you!

3) Your community can pray for you.

I’m a firm believer in the power of God working through the prayer of His saints. Imagine if you told a few Christians in your community that you want them to pray for your future husband … oh la la! Things will begin to change in your love life. The enemy does not want Christian marriages to form, so he’s busy sowing lies and erecting obstacles. You absolutely need prayer support and the collective faith of other saints when it comes to finding a godly spouse.

“The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16b

​4) Your community can filter out the wrong men.

If you allow your healthy and growing Christian community to have input into your love life, you will protect yourself from entering a bad marriage that will make you impoverished (in many ways). Thus, when you meet a guy that you like, introduce him to members of your Christian community, before you decide to commit yourself to an official relationship with him.

Undoubtedly, it is of utmost importance that you’re open to their feedback. If Christian singles would do this more often, there will be a lot less divorces among us. They may not know him as well as you do (if he’s new to them), but they have the Holy Spirit who provides spiritual discernment. And we know that God still speaks! Since they’re not in love with him, they can spot warning signs better than you.

5) Your community can help polish you.

We all have blind spots. If you’re open to correction, your community can reveal to you the areas that you need to work on to attract and keep a good godly man. Please don’t just think that you’re single only because it’s the will of God for you right now. Maybe it is God’s will, but suppose God is waiting on you to get ready by changing some of your poor mindsets or carnal behaviours?

Or is your singleness due to the fact that there are not enough Christian men in the church? My sister, you only need one to marry regardless of the ratio of Christian women to Christian men in the church. Polish up so that you can be ready when you meet him, whoever he may be. Your Christian community can help you get ready if you allow them to play this part.

Summary

There are more than a handful of good single men available. God is able to connect you with your future husband because you only need one man to marry. Very often, He uses your current relationships.

If you were to survey all the married couples you know, you will find that the majority of them met their spouses through a colleague, friend or family connection. Your story might be no different. However, I encourage you to intentionally involve them in your search for a spouse. This is the main way that God has formed marital relationships from the beginning of time!

You can certainly try online dating, but you’ll have to add an additional level of protection to safeguard yourself.

Have you tried inviting your community to connect with a godly man? How do you feel about this? If you haven’t already, are you willing to try?

To recap,

Here are 5 ways your community helps you find your husband:-

• Your future spouse is probably connected to your community.
• ​Your community can intentionally introduce you to an amazing guy.
• Your community can pray for you.
• ​Your community can filter out the wrong men.
• Your community can help polish you.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

6 Temptations When You Feel Lonely as a Single Woman

4 Benefits to Ending a Relationship

How to transition from single to married without stress

Recommended Books:

Beating the Break-Up Habit by Dick Purnell

Givers, Takers And Other Kinds of Lovers by Josh McDowell 

Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Anne Ortlund

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):