Ruth surveys her friends’ statuses on social media. It seems like nearly all of her friends are either married, with children or are in a committed relationship. Ruth thinks, “When will it be my turn?” She begins to feel the urgency of changing her own status. She’s been waiting patiently on God and is wondering if it is time to take matters in “her own hands.” Undoubtedly, there are unique temptations single women face.
Here are the top 3 tantalizing temptations that single women face:
1) Temptation 1: Marrying a non-believer.
A hard-working intelligent ambitious drop-dead gorgeous guy may enter your life. There’s only one problem. He’s not a Christian. But the good thing is that he will respect your religion. The end goal of life is not to marry. Rather, it is to love God with our entire being which translates into obedience.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments. “ John 14:15
Here is what usually happens …
BE THE RIGHT WOMAN FOR THE RIGHT MAN!
Ever feel like you don’t know what a godly man is looking for in a wife? Our Irresistible Godly Woman Checklist will give you clear insights so you can stop guessing and start preparing … while reaching your full potential as a single Christian woman.
First, you start off with wanting a husband who walks securely and intimately with Christ. Then, as you realize that no such man is pursuing you, you might be drawn to the man who bears some resemblance of being religious OR someone who will respect and tolerate your beliefs in Christ.
An unbeliever comes in many shapes and sizes, but they are all still square pegs trying to fit into your round hole. You can force it, but in the end, you will realize it wasn’t the best choice. Take it from me, singleness is better than disobeying God and marrying an unbeliever. It is not in your best interest (or his!).
Confession: I did date an unbeliever once and he was mighty “fine”.😂
2) Temptation 2: Having sex before marriage.
Yes, you have sexual needs. You’re wondering, “Why would God make you a sexual being if He didn’t want you to have sex?” He definitely wants you to have sex – when you are married! His order is marriage and then sex. Undoubtedly, God has designed sex for married couples to experience oneness.
You do not need to “fuse” with any man other than your husband (in the security of a covenant relationship).
As a single woman, He has given You His grace and the self-control to keep pure through the power of His Holy Spirit. Regardless of your past sexual experiences, God can keep you if and when you say, “I do”.
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18
Your sexual desires might have already been awakened to varying degrees based on what you have seen, thought or acted upon. The enemy has waged a war against our purity and has taken a good footing on the mind and experiences of Christians, starting from a very early age.
However, God desires our purity because He is pure and holy. With the help of His Holy Spirit and the Word of God, you can conquer every temptation to indulge in any form of sexual sin. I personally can attest to the power of God in being able to choose purity. Even if you have already engaged in sex in some form, you can choose to abstain until you get married. If you never get married, God can sustain you. God’s grace and power is real and available to you.
3) Temptation 3: Having a child before marriage (for unmarried singles with no children).
(If you unintentionally had a child before marriage, then is not to make you feel guilty. Provide the best for the child you have!)
You’re getting older and you want a child. Another temptation single women face is the urgency to have a child before her child-bearing days end. Currently, there are alternatives to having a child without having sexual relations with a man, with the added bonus of selecting your “ideal” sperm donor.
However, you need to also ask the following questions:
- Is this God’s order?
- Is it in your best interest?
- Will this action glorify God?
- Is it the most loving thing you can do for a child?
God doesn’t give commands and establishes order because He’s bored and has nothing else to do with His time. He does it because He is wise, loving, intelligent, and purposeful. I know many wonderful single Christian mothers, but each one would prefer that there was a godly loving husband to play a significant role in fathering the child.
Why men are important in families …
Parenting was never designed to be one way by one parent. It is tough when a parent has died. For a child to lose a parent because of death is heartbreaking enough. But for a child to grow up without a father who is alive and well, but very absent is inconceivably grievous and agonizing for a child. No amount of justification will be able to help a child to fill that hole in his/her own soul.
For the most part, children blame themselves for the absence of their biological father. Let’s not do this to God’s precious creation on purpose. Although a single mother can try her very best to be an exceptional parent, she will never ever be able to take the place of a father who is absent.
Also, you need a husband for your own sanity. Many mothers with young children often comment that they cannot even go to “pee” in privacy!😲 Taking a simple shower is likened to a spa…. a rare opportunity to be pampered.
You are doing yourself a major injustice to willingly have a child before marriage. Please love yourself (and the child) enough to refrain!
Why we need fathers …
This issue is gaining traction as society loses sight of the importance of fathers in the family unit. God has a purpose for every institution He has created including the family. Just as a woman cannot have a child without the sperm of a man, the child cannot be fully healthy without the presence and input of a loving father.
Father-figures can be helpful, but children would always question the absence of their own biological father. The best thing you can do for a child is to give him/her a father who is actively involved in his/her life. A man gives more than a sperm. A father gives stability, correction, courage, confidence, wisdom, value to a girl/woman, strength to a young boy/man and the list goes on. A father’s role will never become insignificant and no mother, however well-meaning or loving she is, can replace a child’s father.
Suggestion: How about being like Amy Carmichael (a single Christian missionary) and use your natural nurturing strength to mother orphans?
I probably stepped on some toes here!
Summary
You do not have to give into those temptations. I encourage you to surrender your singleness to God and allow Him to add value to this powerful and purposeful season. It is possible to be content; wait on God’s timing; and submit to His plan for your life. His desire will always be to provide you with a full and meaningful life (John 10:10). Will you trust His heart toward you? I pray that you will do! You will not regret it.
To recap, here are the top 3 tantalizing temptations that single women face:
1) Temptation 1: Marrying a non-believer.
2) Temptation 2: Having sex before marriage.
3) Temptation 3: Having a child before marriage (for unmarried singles with no children).
Among the three temptations that I mentioned, which do you think is the most seductive? What do you think are some other temptations single women face? Comment below!
Thanks for stopping by!
#madeforlove
With love,
Kimberly Garth
