7 Fantastic Reasons Singles Should Do Life with Married Couples

It is a common mistake for singles to socialise mainly with other singles. However, there are several major benefits to being around married Christian couples who are sincerely desiring to follow Christ and who are committed to one another through thick and thin. No one has a perfect marriage, but you can learn a lot from them if they are willing to allow you to be a part of their lives… an integral part. By the way, they also might benefit a whole heap by having you in their lives.

That was part of my story as a single woman. I became good friends with one of my mentors. Interestingly, we became closer friends after she got married. Her husband also became like a brother to me.

Here are 7 fantastic reasons singles should do life with married couples:-

1) You need to see a real Christian marriage in action.

Marriage between two Christians is not necessarily the model of a Christian marriage. A Christian marriage is one where true oneness takes places; where Christ is the centre of each spouse and the marriage itself; and in which the main purpose of the marriage is the fulfilment of God’s purpose on the earth.

If you’ve not had the opportunity to see such a Christian marriage modelled before you, then I would suggest that you begin praying that God connects you with at least one couple with a Christ-centered Christian marriage.

2) You need a sober view of marriage.

A real marriage looks nothing like the ones portrayed in chick flicks and TV dramas. And it certainly has no resemblance to our fantasies.

When you are around married Christian couples who live authentically before you, you will be able to grasp the reality of what it means to be married. Hopefully, you’ll witness:

• Their disagreements;
• Their companionship;
• Their conflict resolutions;
• Their selfishness that arises at times;
• Their sacrifices that are inherently in every healthy marriage;
• Their service to Christ as a couple;
• Their enjoyment of one another;
• Their commitment to their marriage covenant although at times it may seem much easier to end it;
• Their journey to oneness which can be painful;
• Their dying to self and becoming more like Christ;
• Their discipleship role to their children;

And much much more …

Then, if and when you get married, you will not be shocked!

3) You need to feel a part of a family.

As you get older, most of your close friends may marry. Should you only spend time with your single friends or should you integrate your life with your married friends?

I would recommend both. You need your single friends and also, you need your married friends. If you have married friends who are willing for you to be a part of their family, then you can play a major role in birthday celebrations; special occasions like Christmas, Thanksgiving; family vacations; children’s graduations; etc. Furthermore, it will help to reduce the pangs of loneliness that you may feel from time to time, especially on special occasions.

Although you may want your own family, they can be your family right now in addition to your immediate family. This is particularly important if you live far from your family of origin.

4) You need to see that your singleness as a blessing to a family.

While you are benefiting from being included in their family, they also benefit a whole heap! Married folks need to be reminded that they are a part of God’s bigger family, instead of focusing on themselves and their children.

Here is a list of benefits that married people get from having singles in their lives:

• Finding a trustworthy babysitter for their children;
• Helping with house chores, especially when the children are very young;
• Getting an unbiased opinion from singles on a marital situation. (Remember that Jesus and Paul were singles and they had a lot of wisdom about marriage!)
• Being a favourite aunt to the children.
• Getting free services that are willingly given by the singles since they see themselves as part of the family. (I’ve baked many cakes for the friends’ children’s birthdays.)
• Being a prayer support for the family.

5) It will help you grow.

My friends became like my disciplers and my brother and sister. I was able to seek wise counsel whenever I needed it. Undoubtedly, disagreements occurred! It was not easy at times, but we learnt to talk about it; forgive one another; mature as Christians and ultimately, love one another unconditionally as the years rolled by. We have truly been committed to one another. We are no longer simply friends, but siblings.

This level of closeness with a married couple can only happen if single and married people do life together … intentionally.

6) You will get free relationship and marital advice.

Single friends can give you good relationship advice if it is grounded in the Word. However, if your married friends have successfully moved from singleness to marriage, then they would have insider information that your single friends are yet to experience.

They can share with you what they wish someone had told them; their regrets; their wise decisions; the best advice they received before marriage and after marriage and the like. With a humble and open mind, you can learn a lot about marriage from your married friends … both from seeing them live out marriage before you and from the advice that they will bestow upon you because they want the best for you.

7) You can get proper feedback when you are interested in a guy.

Your married friends would like you to have a great marriage so they are very much interested in the man that you like. Since they are not “in love” with the man, they qualify to be some of the best people to give you sober feedback about your love interest. In particular, I would suggest soliciting the feedback from the husband because men understand men more and can see the warning signs very early on.

If it weren’t for my married friends, I would have ended up in a few unhealthy relationships with guys. God used their wisdom to protect me.

Summary

As the Body of Christ, we need to bridge the chasm that separates singles from married couples. We need one another and both parties stand to benefit more than this article can cover.

When your friend gets married, you shouldn’t have to search out new single friends to replace the one who got married. Instead, I hope that you and the couple would be willing to integrate your lives. They still need you and you need them. It will take adjustment, especially if you’re not close to your friend’s spouse, but if you’re willing (and they are willing), your friendship can be sweeter after they marriage. That has been my experience and I pray the same for you!

Do you have a Christian married couple who are including you in their lives? Is this something you need to pray about?

To recap …

Here are 7 fantastic reasons singles should do life with married couples:-

• You need to see a real Christian marriage in action.
• You need a sober view of marriage.
• You need to feel a part of a family.
• You need to see that your singleness as a blessing to a family.
• It will help you grow.
• You will get free relationship and marital advice.
• You can get proper feedback when you are interested in a guy.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

When Your Best Friend Gets Married | 6 Tips to Keep Your Friendship Alive

8 Crucial Mindsets for Having a Female Best Friend

How to Not Commit Adultery with Your Male Friend

Recommended Books:

Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It by Jerry B Jenkins

The New Eve: Choosing God’s Best for Your Life by Robert Lewis

Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

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