[Streaming Love Part 4]
It’s very clear that “Ron” likes you, but he is not a Christian. For you, staying single is a better option than being with “Ron”. Then there was “Joe”. “Everyone” thinks that he likes you, but it has never been clear. It feels like your heart is on a nonstop seesaw going up and down between “he likes me” and “he likes me not”. It’s time to end that giddiness.
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Prospects seem few. You’re now wondering if online dating is for you or not for you.
While online dating has grown in popularity, it’s not for everyone.
Here are 6 telltale signs that online dating is not for you:
1) It goes against your convictions.
Deep down in your heart, you believe that the traditional way of meeting (in real life) is the only legitimate and godly way of meeting a prospective marriage partner.
The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. Romans 14:22-23 ESV
This scripture excerpt is referring to food, but the principle applies to other aspects of our lives. As Christians, our lives should be characterized by faith. Therefore, if you sincerely believe that it’s a sin to date someone online, then you should stay clear from it.
2) You’re ashamed of it.
If you can’t bear to disclose that you met your love interest online, maybe online dating is not for you. You want to be comfortable telling your parents, family, friends and future children.
A favourite question to couples is, “how did you two meet?” When you respond, you want to happily and confidently share the truth. It’s not a good idea to enter a relationship with guilt and shame.
Personally, I could not bring myself to tell my father that I met someone online. Eventually, I had to be true to myself and give up on online dating. If you don’t have the courage to tell your parents, like me, then online dating is not for you.
3) You’re risk-averse.
You’re afraid that you’ll meet a creep who will swindle you out of your money. Basically, you believe that any man, who is looking for a wife online, cannot be trusted.
Or maybe he is desperate and needy and that’s why he needs help through an algorithm to meet a woman. If those are your thoughts concerning online dating, then online dating is not for you.
4) You have little patience.
Online dating takes time. A newbie will sign up and hope that within a month, she’ll connect with several eligible suitors who “tickle her fancy” and her main man, of course, will be one of them.
That generally does not happen. There will be hundreds and hundreds of men from which to choose only one. The more you engage with an online dating platform, the better the algorithm will work for you as it begins to “understand” your likes and dislikes. You have to be faithful to the process and exercise patience.
5) No time for it.
Online dating requires time. For the better platforms, it starts with a thorough questionnaire about yourself and the kind of man that would interest you. Believe me, it’s not for those with a microwave mentality! Besides the initial time investment, you need to also log on to it and spend time (preferably daily) looking at profiles and engaging with people.
If you have a very busy lifestyle, online dating is not for you. As a matter of fact, no form of romantic relationship might be for you at this point in time. A relationship requires a considerable investment of time.
That reminds me of what my mechanic said to me. Several years ago, when I would take the car to him, he would observe that I was always working. Shockingly, he told me that I was too busy for marriage. He’s just a pleasant man that I didn’t take offense. Maybe he was right!
6) Inability to handle the emotional ups and downs.
Online dating is no walk in the park. You may face constant rejection because an app or website makes it extremely easy to do. Imagine feeling rejected by ten guys in under a week!
Also, disappointment is normal and to be expected because people over-exaggerate their positive attributes (like posting a photo that is ten years old!). You might think that you’re in love with a guy and when you actually meet him, you realise that you have been sorely mistaken.
There will be instances when you think you’re making progress and the guy suddenly disappears (known as ghosting). Unfortunately, you might meet creeps who will want to play games with your heart.
As a result of its ease of deception and lack of accountability, you might become an emotional wreak. If you cannot handle that emotional stress, then online dating is not for you.
Related articles:
8 Essential Measures to Safeguard Yourself With Online Dating
When The Guy You Like is a Foreigner | 6 Sober Insights
14 Proven Tips for a Successful Long Distance Relationship
Summary
Despite the growing popularity of online dating, the fact remains that most people will still meet their future mate among their mutual friends and social circles.
Meeting someone in real life will continue to be the more comfortable and safer route than online dating. If that suits you best, don’t give into the peer pressure to try online dating. It’s not for everyone.
Is online dating your “cup of tea”? Are you afraid of online dating? Have you had a bad experience? Was your experience good? Please share and let us learn from one another.
Although blogging is relatively new for me, I’ve been mentoring and coaching women for over twenty years. I love helping women develop fully and grow in their most important relationships. And of course, I’d like to help you too!
If you’d like this kind of support, subscribe and you will receive my weekly email tips to help nurture your relationships with God, yourself, and others. You’ll also receive your free “Emotional Maturity versus Emotional Maturity” checklist. Thanks for stopping by!
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With love,
Kimberly Garth
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