How to Stay Out of the “Friend Zone”

I first heard about this “friend zone” concept from my husband. Apparently, if a person is placed in the “friend zone”, he/she is no longer considered as a potential spouse. Any romantic interest disappears!

To be honest, my closest friends have always been women, although I do have a few Christian male friends whose friendships I cherish. Far too frequently, I have witnessed women who have had serious crushes on their very close male friends, but their male friends married other women. These women’s hearts were broken.

So how do you prevent yourself from being placed and stuck in the friend zone?

Here are 7 tips to stay out of the “friend zone”:

1) Embrace and maintain your femininity in the following ways:

1. Look your best whenever you are around him.Christian or not, a single man wants to be with a “pretty” feminine lady. The visual component is huge for a man.
2. Be ladylike in the way you walk, talk, and sit. When your male friend thinks about you, he should not think of you as one of the boys.
3. Show him your soft side which includes crying when you feel like crying.
4. Smell clean and use a feminine perfume (if you have no allergies). Invest in at least one good quality perfume.

2) Allow him to protect you.

A man wants to be your hero, so ask him for advice and his protection.

For instance, if he wants to walk you to your door because he wants to ensure that you reach home safely, please do not refuse. Furthermore, if he wants to pay for your meals from time to time, allow him the privilege.

3) Don’t always argue.

You need to choose your battles carefully. If you’re one of those women who must always set a man straight and always win an argument, you need to take a different route if you plan to marry and/or have a successful happy marriage.

4) Do not behave like a man toward him.

If you want to keep out of the “friend zone”, keep at the forefront of your mind that you’re a woman and he’s a man. Accentuate the differences. If you behave like one of his “partners”, he will subconsciously place you in the friend zone.

For example, refrain from slapping him on the back; giving him a bounce; or giving him a hi-five.

5) Do not be available for him 24/7/365.

Don’t operate like if you’re his wife. Have a life of your own separate and apart from him. Let him miss your company; long to hear your voice and yearn to see you. If he wants to see you every day, he’ll just have to marry you!

6) Be mysterious.

I personally don’t think that you should disclose “every single thing” about yourself to a man who is simply a friend. He doesn’t need to know about all your secrets, your mistakes in life; your past relationship problems; and all the struggles you are facing. Leave that for marriage. Hence, a man would prefer to go with a “new” woman who has entered his life because her mysteriousness is enticing.

(Before marriage, you need to share pertinent information in a committed romantic relationship to aid in your decision to marry or not to marry).

7) Be vulnerable.

As modern educated and spiritually-strong women, we don’t want to appear weak to the opposite sex. But that’s a big mistake. He must know that you do not have it altogether. It shows that:

1. You’re human;
2. You’re his equal because you both have weaknesses. Most men are well acquainted with their own flaws. He doesn’t want a woman who thinks that she’s better than him nor does he want to feel that he’s inferior to her.

But remember point 6 … please do not share everything about you. Mystery is still important!

Summary

It is great to have male friends, but I would seriously reconsider being best friends or very close friends with guys with whom there is no relationship leading to marriage. Reserve your deep sharing for your female friends, biological brothers, an official committed relationship and your spouse. It may prevent the unfortunate situation of being placed in the friend zone by a fantastic man who you love romantically. On the other hand, it will also ensure that you don’t place a potential future spouse into the friend zone.

Have you ever been placed in the friend zone by a man you love? What would you do differently? Please comment below and share your story.

To recap,

Here are 7 tips to stay out of the “friend zone”:

1. Embrace and maintain your femininity.
2. Allow him to protect you.
3. Don’t always argue.
4. Do not behave like a man toward him.
5. Do not be available for him 24/7/365.
6. Be mysterious.
7. Be vulnerable.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

“Situationship” or Relationship … 5 Reasons It Should be Clear 

6 Practical Tweaks to Get A Man’s Attention

5 Qualities that Attract a Man to a Woman

Recommended Books:

Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot 

Choosing God’s Best: Wisdom for Lifelong Romance by Dr. Don Raunikar

Givers, Takers And Other Kinds of Lovers by Josh McDowell 

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