How to Practically Show Care for a Man

You went on a few dates with “Thomas” but he is no longer calling you. What could possibly be the reason for his cooled feelings toward you?

I had conversations with two men and they shared two stories that gave me further insights into the way men think. Both stories had a similar theme … the coldness of a woman.

Case 1: “Henry” and “Jill”

“Henry” had an accident and “Jill”, his former girlfriend, showed no sympathy although she was present at the scene. She continued having a merry time, while “Henry” was in agony and attended to by others. Although she probably had no expert training in dealing with the matter, she should have at least come to his side and show that she cared about him. The relationship did not last.

Case 2: “Javed” and “Sarah”

“Javed” was dating “Sarah”, a beautiful Christian woman. The problem with “Sarah” is that she showed no tenderness of heart or care toward “Javed”. She never even initiated a call to ask of his well-being and she prioritised her friends above him … every single time. He was always the one to communicate with her. I am definitely an advocate for a man pursuing a woman, but at the same time, he is a human being who also needs to know that he is special to the woman he is dating. A man has a heart too!

Lessons to learn

A right-thinking man is looking for a nurturing woman. He’s asking himself the following questions:

• “Would she care for me?”
• “Can she love me?”
• “Does she have the capacity to lovingly nurture our future children?”
• “Would she treat my parents well, especially as they age?”

A “cold” woman may be a very hurt woman. If you are deeply wounded, then I would suggest taking the time to heal before you even attempt to engage a man’s heart. However, if you are a very selfish woman, then you need consider (and follow) the example of our Lord Jesus Christ.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

Here’s how to practically show care for 3 types of men in your life:-

1) A man who is only a friend:

1. Find out how he is doing from time to time.
2. Ask him about his prayer requests.
3. Enquire about the well-being of his family.
4. If you bake a cheesecake (for example) and you know it is his favourite dessert, share a slice with him.

2) A man with whom you’re in a relationship:

1. Follow tips 1-3 from above.
2. Bake him a delicious dessert or cook a meal for him like on special occasions.
3. If he’s ill or injured, promptly show your care for him. For example, if he has the common cold, perhaps you can take a little soup for him (homemade or store-bought). Furthermore, check on his progress sporadicly.
4. Make time to spend with him (not every waking moment though!)
5. Sincerely encourage him with your words … regularly. (Look out for my “Awaken His Love” guide which will be available for purchase!)
6. Show love to him based on his primary love language, but please be appropriate since he’s not your husband as yet!

3) A man who who your former boyfriend:

1. Call him once in a “blue moon” to find out how he is doing.
2. Send him a message on his birthday and for Christmas and maybe New Year’s Day.

That’s all, folks!😂 (After all, he’s no longer your boyfriend!)

Keep this interaction to a minimum if you don’t want sparks to be rekindled. Also, if he has another special lady in this life, you want to respect their relationship.

Summary

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; …” Colossians 3:12

Do you come across as a warm caring person or a cold-hearted woman? Do you have emotional scars on your heart and need our Saviour’s healing touch? If yes, how can you seek help from others (like a counsellor)?

What is one kind gesture you can do to a male friend to show the love of Christ this week?

To recap,

Here’s how to practically show care for 3 types of men in your life:-

• A man who is only a friend.
• A man with whom you’re in a relationship.
• A man who who your former boyfriend.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

Top 5 Turn-offs for Single Men

5 Poor Mindsets to Keep You Single for Long

5 Undeniable Signs A Man is Not Ready for You

Recommended Books:

Beating the Break-Up Habit by Dick Purnell

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature by Peter Scazzero

For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by by Shaunti Feldhahn

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):

Amazon Kindle Paperwhite