How to Deal with Sexual Temptation as a Single Christian Woman

You are a committed Christian woman, but you find yourself constantly falling into sexual sin with guys. The last time, it just mashed you up so much and you’re like, “I need to get a grip. I need to grow in this area”.

The thing is, when it comes to sexual temptation, it’s kind of difficult. It’s probably extra difficult these days because we are inundated with so much sexual material in the movies, in the books, the songs, music videos and the like.

Also, it has become a sad situation when Christian men are encouraging you and pressuring you for sex. There are women like that too! It just shows the way that we have allowed the world to infiltrate us so much that we have become powerless as people of God. So let’s overturn this trend. I want to share with you what has helped me and what could also help you overcome in this particular area. 

Here are 4 Tips on How to Deal with Sexual Temptation as a Single Woman:

1) Make up your mind.

You have to decide for yourself. No one can decide for you. In Daniel 1:8, it says that Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice foods, with the king’s food or wine. 

So there are times when you need to make up your mind and allow God to be the one to help you; fight for you; and to prosper you, even when your decisions might be very unpopular to others. Therefore, in order to deal with sexual temptation, you have to make up your mind for yourself.

2) Know what the Bible says about sexual purity.

Now, your feelings can come and go, but what will remain is the Word of God. 

“I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you”. – Psalm 119:11

As such, the Word of God is extremely important if you really want to win this battle. If you want to overcome sexual temptation with men, you need to renew your mind with the Word of God. A particular portion scripture that really helped me when I was growing in this particular area, is found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6.

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you should know how to control his own body in holiness and honor not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6

You need a proper foundation in order for you to be strong in this particular area. Your feelings will be insufficient to help you when you are in a difficult situation. The interesting thing is, from my own experience and from what I know, there are quality men who will have their boundaries. And there are lots of good single men still out there. 

But I have found that, in general, men look to us to establish our boundaries and the sexual boundaries for the relationship. Therefore, you have to decide beforehand what your boundaries will be.

When you find Scripture that can strengthen your resolve to deal with sexual temptation, it is not sufficient to just read that portion of scripture once and done. No! You need to memorize it and meditate on it for it to move from your head to your heart so that you will really, really, really believe it. It needs to become a solid conviction and your own personal conviction … not your pastor’s conviction, not your youth pastor’s conviction, not your parents’ conviction, but yours!

It has to become your personal conviction for you to really overcome in this particular area.

3) Determine your boundaries in dating.

“That each of you should know how to control his own body in holiness and honor”. – 1 Thessalonians 4:4

You have to control your own body and help the guy to control his body as well. You need to think about boundaries in four particular areas, and here are a few questions to ask yourself.

Physical touch

What will you do or or will not do when it comes to physical touch with a guy you are seeing? 

Physical space

Do you have any particular boundaries with respect to being alone together? 

Sharing information

What will you share or will you not share with the guy that you are seeing? 

An accountability partner or friend

Is there someone in your life that can ask you the hard questions after you come back from a date? For example. “How things are going with you and ‘Charlie’? How are you dealing with the whole area of physical intimacy?” 

We need these people in our lives to help us to walk the straight and narrow path. We need someone to pray for us and we need someone with whom we can be accountable. 

You will see a great improvement in your ability to live more and more for Christ and in holiness and in purity when you have someone by your side rooting for you, supporting you, and willing to ask you the difficult questions. 

Have you determined your boundaries when it comes to dating?

4) Surround yourself with a like-minded community.

I can’t express how important a community is … whether an in-person community or an online community. Although online communities are good (to an extent), but you honestly need a community in real life who meet face-to-face.

Like for me, before I was even in a relationship, I was involved in a Christian community and those individuals helped me to cement and strengthen my views on sexual purity and helped me to stay strong. I had people who were talking the same language. They were kind. They were loving. We were transparent with one another. We were vulnerable. We also prayed for one another. This is the kind of community that you want because you cannot be alone in this journey.

When I was on a mission trip, we did a study based on the book “The Bride Wore White Seven Secrets, the Sexual Purity” by Dannah Gresh. I would highly recommend this book and its accompanying workbook.

Additionally, I would like to invite you to join my 90-day purity challenge. As soon as you sign up here, I will send you weekly emails within that time period including Scriptures for you to study, my own personal stories in my quest in sexual purity or stories from other women.

Summary

Although it may seem a challenge to overcome sexual temptation in this day and age, you can win this fight. As a Christian, you can be successful at being sexually pure. The journey might be long, but I am certain that Jesus can help you to deal with sexual temptation.

To recap,

• Here are some tips on how to handle sexual temptation:
  1. Making up your mind.
  2. Know what the Bible says about sexual purity.
  3. Determine your boundaries in dating.
  4. Surround yourself with a like-minded community.

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

7 Tips to Win at Sexual Purity

6 Lies About Sex Before Marriage (and the Truth)

How to Stop Having Sex with Your Boyfriend 

4 Really Poor Reasons for Choosing Celibacy

Recommended Books:

And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity by Dannah Gresh

And the Bride Wore White Companion Guide: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity by Dannah Gresh

Let Me be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

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