Most of us believe that there are not enough single eligible men in the church. While there may be some truth to this (especially in the Western World), you might be overlooking a few good ones already in your life.

When you survey the single men in your circles, they may fall into several categories:

• Category 1: The single Christian man who you believe is too young or too old for you.
• Category 2: Friend-zone Christian guy
• Category 3: Not-Your-Cup-of Tea Christian guy
• Category 4: Makes-your-heart-flutter Christian guy 😂
• Category 5: Wife-has-passed-away Christian Gy

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All of the above men have potential. Although you might only be interested in the makes-your-heart-flutter Christian guy, you may want to be more open. Also, you can be instrumental in helping to prepare the ones in whom you’re not interested to be a fabulous husband to another Christian sister.

Here are 5 Categories of Christian Men You are Overlooking:-

1) Category 1: Single Christian men who you believe are too young for you or too old for you.

This might be a bit controversial, but there is nothing in God’s Word that places limits on the ages between the husband and wife. Generally speaking, men are usually older, but when we look at Scripture (for example, see Genesis 38:1-11 and Ruth 3) and the Levirate Law (Deuteronomy 25:5-10), we can see where age differences did not take precedence over adherence to the Levirate Law.

Although the Levirate Law does not pertain to us, we can still learn that obedience to God and the fulfilment of His purposes supercede our societal norms. That being said, if you do choose to marry someone who is much younger or much older, you need to soberly consider factors like child-bearing, sexual appetite, generational gaps, public shaming, and the like. There are pros and cons to either one.

2) Category 2: Friend-zone Christian guy

You become close friends with a guy and he loses his appeal over time, but you absolutely cherish his presence in your life. “Familiarity breeds contempt” aptly applies to this scenario. Romance movies and novels have brainwashed us into believing that you will know “he is the one for you” if your heart skips a beat when you see him. I’m all for chemistry and romance, but sometimes we need to realise that your friend-zone guy might actually be an incredible husband for you.

Romance can be nurtured and should be fanned into hot flames regularly before and even after marriage. If intellectually you know that he’s your complimentary fit, maybe you might consider praying that your feelings change toward him (and vice versa) OR introduce him to some of your awesome single Christian sisters!

I met a lady a few years ago who told me that she had prayed that God would turn her male friend’s heart toward her. And guess what … he began having feelings toward her. I met them after they had been married for several years and they seemed very happy to me! Love stories are so diverse!!!!

3) Category 3: Not-Your-Cup-of Tea Christian guy

For some reason, you have absolutely no interest in this guy … none whatsoever.

First of all, you need to figure what why he’s not your cup of tea. Are you being reasonable or unreasonably?

• Is it that you would be unable to live with a particular trait that he has?
• Is it that you’re looking for perfection and you’re not about to “settle”?
• Is it that you feel he’s beneath you because he makes less money or has less formal education than you have?

If you come to the conclusion that your judgement is based on sound biblical wisdom, then I would suggest that you pray for him, especially if you see that there are issues in his life that are holding him back. He might be insecure, fearful, have a victim mentality, a complainer, a slob, and the like. Encourage him when you can. He’s not a bad catch, but he just needs some work.

On the other hand, if you realise that he really is a very good man, except that he doesn’t meet your temporal standards (like income & educational level), then I would recommend taking it to the Lord. Ask God to change your heart and align you with His Kingdom perspectives.

4) Category 4: Makes-your-heart-flutter Christian guy

I am aware that some Christian women think that they are unworthy of a good man because their own history of which they are ashamed. My sister, if he’s a committed growing believer and he’s interested in you, then be open to him. God will not punish you be sending you the worst of the lot. He’s kind and gracious. God will connect you with a man because of His purpose and not because of your past.

However, as the saying goes, “all that glitters is not goal.” Be prayerful; listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to you; bring your family and friends into the equation (they are there for your protection) and be guided by the Word of God.

If he’s not interested in you, be like my friend and ask God to turn his heart toward. You can’t go wrong in praying about everything! If God doesn’t answer that request, introduce him to your single Christian friends because it’s always better to have a kingdom perspective (easier said than done)!

5) Category 5: Wife-has-passed Christian guy

Most widowers prefer to remarry. I’ve seen it time and time again. In the last few years, I’ve observed 4 male friends, in their 50s – 60’s, remarry within two years of their beloved wives’ passing. They prefer not to be alone and I cannot find fault with that.

Instead of limiting your choice to men who have never been married, why not consider a man who has faithfully loved his deceased wife and is now available?!? Personally, those men might make great husbands. They are more seasoned and settled. 😉

Summary

Let’s not put God in a box. Pray about everything! Be open to the single men that God has already placed in your life. Life is way too short to make getting married overcomplicated. A lot more Christian singles can have awesome enjoyable Christian marriages if the mind blocks are removed.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Would you consider marrying a younger man, an older man, your male friend or a widower? Are there any single guys in your life that you cannot even fathom marrying?

To recap,

Here are 5 Categories of Christian Men You are Overlooking:-

• Category 1: Single Christian men who you believe are too young for you or too old for you.
• Category 2: Friend-zone Christian guy
• Category 3: Not-Your-Cup-of Tea Christian guy
• Category 4: Makes-your-heart-flutter Christian guy
• Category 5: Wife-has-passed Christian guy

Thanks for stopping by!

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

Other Helpful Resources:

5 Guys to Consider as Future Husbands 

6 Guys to Resist

5 Essential Qualities in a Godly Husband 

Recommended Books:

Choosing God’s Best: Wisdom for Lifelong Romance by Dr. Don Raunikar

Becoming a Friend and Lover: Building a Quality Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Dick Purnell

Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

Recommended Reading Device (LOVE IT!):

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