Is sex before marriage the new norm for Christian singles? You’re probably beginning to notice that many church-goers have begun to live together or engaging in sexual relations. Christian women are now pressuring their partners for sex and vice versa. Did we miss something? Did God change His mind about sexual purity? Is there a new 21st century version of the Bible that permits, promotes and celebrates sex before marriage? I assure you that no such thing has happened. Being a virgin is STILL wonderful!
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God;” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
In the book “The Art of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love”, a study by Tim and Beverly LaHaye found that married women who had no sexual experience were about 10 percent more likely to be sexually satisfied in their marriage than those who had lost their virginity before their wedding day. That’s wonderful news for single women!
To study what God says, check out “The Best Sex -A Self-Study on Sexual Purity” in my resource library.
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Here are 6 reasons why being a virgin is still wonderful:
1) Being a virgin helps you to express true love.
Waiting for sex helps you to EXPRESS TRUE LOVE for the following people –
- The man you will marry;
- Your boyfriend;
- The woman that your boyfriend may end up marrying (you might break up);
- Yourself;
- God; and
- A young Christian woman who is looking up to you.
For more on this, check out my article, “5 People You Love When You Save Sex for Marriage” and the video!
2) Being a virgin offers safety and security.
There are enough situations that occupy our minds without adding the fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or being pregnant. Why give yourself extra worries? You should have sweet sleep when you rest your head on that pillow. One of my good friends is living proof that condoms do not work 100% of the time because she was the result. Also, Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is the most prevalent STD. It is incurable, easily transmitted, and causes cervical cancer in women. A moment of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of illness and regret.
Get the “Purity Commitment” and “The Best Sex – A Self-Study on Sexual Purity” which are in my resource library TODAY!
3) No sex before marriage prevents COMPETITION IN BED.
During the act of lovemaking, you call out ‘Harry’, but your husband’s name is ‘Tom’! That’s not a pretty picture. Our brains are powerful storehouses of memories, including sexual experiences. If you don’t have sex now, you will have a clean slate for you and your husband to write some exciting scripts…without unwanted competition.
4) No sex gives more clarity to choose a husband.
Too many women regret marrying their husbands. Sexual activity can squeeze out quality communication that is needed to discern compatibility. You might think that you and your boyfriend are a good fit because you have incredible sex together. But you cannot have sex 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. He might make a good sex partner, but a terrible husband. Give yourself the best opportunity to make a sensible choice for a future husband.
5) No sex builds trust in a relationship.
If you and your boyfriend are not sexually active, then you would have developed a deep level of mutual trust. Together, you honored God; demonstrated self-control; and acted in the highest interest of each other. That’s a wonderful foundation for a happy thriving marriage.
6) Saving sex for marriage protects your Christian Testimony.
Although some ‘Christians’ are claiming that nothing is wrong with premarital sex, we all know that unbelievers expect us to pursue a lifestyle of holiness because we claim to serve a holy God. And they are right! We have a high standard by which to live and the power of the Holy Spirit to help us. Let’s not cause people to disrespect the God that we say we love.
‘You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written, “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”’ (Romans 2:23-24)
Bonus!
Keeping your virginity will test a man’s love for you.
If a man truly loves you and God, he will not pressure you for sex. Check out ‘6 Guys to Resist’. Keeping your virginity intact will unveil his true intentions and his character. Does he have self-control? Is he a man with deep biblical convictions? Does he have integrity? If he wants to taste of the ‘fruit’ before he ‘pays’ the price, then something is certainly wrong.
Women with past sexual experiences …
For those for you who have been touched inappropriately or raped, it was not your fault. You don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed. We live in a sick fallen world, and unfortunately, abuse is a consequence of it. Jesus is able to heal and redeem.
You might be a woman who has willingly given of yourself sexually in the past. With Jesus, he can transform your life and give you a beautiful future. All of us have erred and that’s why Jesus came. An excellent book to read is “Sex and the Soul of a Woman: How God Restores the Beauty of Relationship from the Pain of Regret” by Paula Rhinehart.
You too can choose to refrain from any further sexual activity until you are married. One of my single friends has two children and has never been married. She too has decided to no longer engage in any form of sexual activity until marriage.
Will you join us? Let’s join together as women who will dare to be different!
Summary
Being a virgin makes a whole lot of sense! I choose sexual purity because I am in a loving relationship with God who is pure, holy, loving and wise. God’s desire is to protect my heart and provide the best environment for me as a woman. He wants to do the same for you. Will you trust His heart toward you?
I would love to hear your views. What are other reasons why virginity is STILL wonderful? Please comment below. When you subscribe, you’ll get your free ‘Know Yourself’ questionnaire. You’ll also receive my weekly email tips to help you to grow in your relationships and you can communicate with me directly. Check out the recommended books below which have been helpful to me in pursuing a lifestyle of sexual purity. Ignorance is not bliss!
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With love,
Kimberly
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Recommended books:
The Art of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love by Tim and Beverly LaHaye
Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity by Dannah Gresh
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Hi Kim,
I am glad that you chose to write about this topic. You asked us to share some of our reasons as to why virginity is still wonderful. I would say that:
1. It reflects the purity of Christ
2. It demonstrates the ability of believers to be transformed by the renewing of the mind
3. It suggests that we really do not have to ‘live by bread alone’.
So true! Thanks for sharing, Janine! We need to let our voices heard concerning this.
Great article! I hope all young Christian couples remember the beauty in giving each other that gift in marriage.
Thanks, Danielle! I hope the men also know that we want them to be virgins too!:)
Hey Kimberly,
Really appreciate this one!
Sometimes waiting gets a little discouraging.
I have one thing to share, that is we must becareful who we ask about sex.
I had an experience where two recently married Christian ladies gave their take on sex and they said…it wasn’t all that it was made to believe it was and I just felt so crushed…lol
I was expecting to hear “wait sisters it’s worth it!!”
So thank you for lifting spirit..lol
It’s going to be worth the wait
Thank you, Triena! When you’re ready to get married, you and your fiancé should read ‘Intended for Pleasure’ by Ed and Gaye Wheat😉👊🏼 Lol
Very timely and down to earth blog… we Christians need to be honest with ourselves and God. He already knows our hearts… we are either obeying his commands or not. We should not be trying to justify sin. We make mistakes yes, but don’t settle for it and just sit and dwell in the sin. We can have victory over fornication in the power of the Holy Spirit, not in our own efforts.
Thanks, Adaisa! When we try in our own strength, we constantly fail or we become full of pride (and you know what comes after that…a fall).