5 Crazy Things People Say to Single Women

It’s family reunion time! Whoohoo! You’re excited to spend time with your extended family. There are hugs, kisses, and shouts as relatives arrive. The atmosphere is filled with laughter and expectancy of having a grand time.

Then, after a little chit-chat with an uncle, he asks you, “When will you be having children? You’re not getting any younger.” Say what?!?! The things people say to single women! SMH. (This happened to me!)

When I was a single woman, I was the recipient of many thoughtless and insensitive comments from relatives, friends, acquaintances and strangers alike. People say many crazy things to single women! I know that I was not alone. If you want to know how I handled it, get my 5 Proven Tips to Deal With Insensitive Comments.

Here are 5 crazy things people say to single women:

1) “When you are content, then God will bring your husband into your life.”

Say what? The things people say to single women!😲

It sounds good but it has no scriptural backing.  I guess people are trying to make sense of it all.  Therefore, they (and even we) try to come up with a system on how God works.  

God is placed in a box and a box is definitely too small for Him. Of course, I’m an advocate of contentment as a single person and ALSO as a married person.  It’s NOT a prerequisite for meeting your husband.

Along the lines of ‘contentment’, I was also told, “Don’t be too content.”
So what should you be … content or not content?  Which state will get you a husband? How confusing! That statement is neither biblical nor helpful.  Paul told Timothy, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6.

2) “You are just too picky.” “Your standards are too high.”

Say what? The things people say to single women!😲

A very close friend or relative who know you intimately can say something like this if they really know that you’re being too picky and unrealistic.  However, the average “Joe” or “Jenny” who doesn’t know you have no place in making this unfounded judgement just because you’re still single.

The simple fact that Christian women outnumber Christian men (at least in Christian churches in the Western world) gives enough grounds to believe that not all single Christian women will marry. Plus, there are so many issues that can complicate the matter!

3) “What are you waiting on?” “When will it be your turn?”

Say what? The things people say to single women!😲

This comment is usually said at a wedding or a baby’s dedication.  You’re there having a merry time and suddenly, a relative or friend make this out-of-timing comment.  Check out my 5 Proven Tips to Deal With Insensitive Comments to help you handle these situations with grace and easy.

Is that the best comment that you can make at that point in time? Getting a husband is not like going to amazon.com, search ‘eligible bachelor’, read the reviews, and click ‘buy’.  Marriage is a life-long commitment and as such, it requires a process and time.

4) “Your time is running out to have children.”

Say what? The things people say to single women!😲

You are already quite aware of your age and you don’t need a reminder that the biological clock is ticking.  Instead, it would be helpful to hear that as a single woman, you can use your natural nurturing abilities to ‘mother’ many young persons and impact the world.  You can ‘birth’ spiritual children.

Don’t even bother with those people who want to encourage you to have a child before marriage. It is not God’s order and as such, it is not in your best interest to take matters in your own hands to become a single mother.

If you were to observe any single mother, it is downright difficult to parent on a child on your own! Furthermore, those people will not be there in the “wee” hours of the morning when the baby is crying and you’re all alone! Ladies, ignore such people!

5) “How come a nice girl like you is still single?” “How come you’re not married as yet?”

Say what? The things people say to single women!😲

The response in my mind was “I often wonder that myself!” 😂.  I know so many lovely Christian women who are single. We live in an imperfect world and some things we will never understand here on earth.  

Besides the above comments, ever so often someone would venture to offer a solution.  

Here is one such suggestion to help us find a husband:

“Why don’t you go and visit another church ONE Sunday?”

This is a well-meaning instruction.  However, most persons don’t meet their spouse at one meeting.  Most meaningful relationships are formed when people are around each other consistently.  It’s a good idea to widen your community, but one visit is insufficient.

After all that has been said to single women, you need to extend grace.  Everyone is in process. I just usually smiled and let it slide.  It doesn’t make sense getting bitter. Instead, we can use the feedback to examine our lives to see if there is anything we can learn or do differently.  

“You cannot keep birds from flying over your heads, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” Martin Luther

Related articles:

5 Compelling Reasons Why Singleness is Beautiful 

6 Practical Tweaks to Get A Man’s Attention

Summary

You will meet people who would like to intentionally cause you harm by what they say. However, most of the persons who say thoughtless comments lack emotional intelligence. They are unaware of the impact that their comments would have on the recipients.

Therefore, you cannot control what others will say to you, but you do have control over how their comments will impact your own life. For me, some of the comments got me a little down (when I was alone) especially at times when I was concerned that I would never marry and have children.

However, for the most part, my reaction never gave the other person the upper hand over my emotional state. I looked them in their faces and responded appropriately. I probably also have a “hot” mouth (feistiness)! 🙈😂. Get my 5 Proven Tips to Deal With Insensitive Comments! As a local saying goes, “monkeys know which tree to climb.” Do not let anyone take advantage of you or your vulnerability as a single woman!

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

What are some insensitive unhelpful comments that you’ve heard over the years?  I’d love to hear them. Please share in the comments below and subscribe too!:)

#madeforlove

With love & laughter,

Kimberly Garth

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